The morning rush hour has a strange feel to it. Perhaps it is the ever so long month-end approaching or just the awkward weather patterns. Maybe it’s the skinny wallet this time of the month which is the overriding factor.
“Kyk hie, Kyk hie,” the newspaper vendor shouts with a serious expression. The voicemail lady politely waits her turn and then announces: “The 3508 train from Kraaifontein to Cape Town will be arriving in five minutes. Thank you”. She’s clever. She knows all the schedules. She even knows which trains ran away for the day.
The light turns amber and voila! Five minutes later the train appears with an ‘it-wasn’t-me’ expression. For a moment I thought it was blushing too. Within seconds it swallows all the commuters waiting on platform 1 and off we go.
A guy in his mid-20’s sits with ears connected to his cell phone while texting at the same time. His head is bobbing gently and his fingers are skilfully tapping the keypad. I can’t help but notice the content of the messages, though I try hard not to look.
Smilingly he blows a kiss emoticon and adds:
I miss u like crayfish babe
Within seconds she replies:
LOL you so silly
The train picks up speed as we get into a gentle stride.
“No rush driver” I think, “We’re running on schedule.”
I cdnt c u de weekend but ima make up dis weekend
The young lady types fast.
no worries
… the reply comes.
we have gr8 times 2gether
u fun to be with
nd my fam likes u
He smiles again while bobbing to the rhythm of the music playing in his ears obviously feeling great about the message, he replies:
when u not watching ur dad gives me the evil eye
nd ur poodle is behaving like his partner in crime
She replies
lmao
dnt be mad
dey just overprotective
Snoopy was my bf b4 u arrived
The train glides into Vasco station. More passengers get on board and we quietly glide along again.
“Mornings, mornings, mornings! Wies kwaad hiesa? Moenie kwaad wiesie. My lekkes is lekka. Puts a smile on your early morning dial eksê. Stiek yt!” the vendor says carrying a shopping basket filled with goodies.
Somehow, as if they were hypnotised, people respond by scratching in their pockets for R2 or R5 coins in support of the vendor.
“Always value for money menee,” he adds looking at a middle-aged guy.
Meanwhile with his head still bobbing, the young lad continues typing oblivious to his surroundings. I still can’t help myself. It is right there for me to read.
I ddnt want it to happen but it did
I want to u to be sure
there is no1 else for me but U babe
i’ll even sacrifice my mothers lamb curry breyanni for u
nd u know how delicious it is LOL
He waits while I’m holding my breath for the reply.
She replies:
OMG thot I was worth more than lamb curry
She sends him a frown emoticon.
I saw that coming, I silently think to myself. His head stops bobbing. He looks up, rolls his eyes, looks down again and then replies:
a silly example I ddnt mean it that way
u know what I mean swts
He adds a smiley to the message.
Before we realise it, we have already arrived at Maitland station where a great number of commuters leave the carriage.
She replies:
I must tell u something
I look at my watch and see that we’re running on schedule. How nice for a change and then I can’t help but look at the screen of my fellow commuter’s phone again.
Tell me
He replies with his head almost not moving. A more concerned look dawns on his face. We both stare at the phone in anticipation.
I was late last month
wana see this month or must go see the doctor
maybe its just a false alarm
lets c
As the bombshell stares up at us from his screen, with his head not moving and one earplug popping out of his ear, his fingers gently shaking, he types:
ARE U SERIAAAS!!!!!!!!
Staring wide-eyed at the screen. At least the trains are running on time today, I think to myself whilst catching my breath again.
***
Urban Dictionary
The spelling, grammar and lack of punctuation of their texting is typical of what people use when texting through instant messaging services and are usually phonetic abbreviations e.g. “b4” means before.
Stiek yt – In this case means “Do what is expected” The more common meaning when said to another means “Come here” or “Arrive somewhere”.
My lekkes is lekke – My sweets are nice.
Menee – A colloquial shortened form of “Meneer” – Mister