“My laaitie kô giste-aan’ en sê, ‘Daddy I can’t wrap my mind around this word ‘cauliflower’ how do I spell it?’”

The train is fast approaching Goodwood station, trying its best to maintain the schedule.

“Ek kyk vi’ Dawn, sy loe my onnelangs met n grin oppie gesig. Ek vra somma ‘hoekô het djy’rie kin’ in n Engelse skool gesit? Nou sit ôs hie’ soes kieppies’.”

“Sy bail my yt toe sy sê ‘OK Tarryn, don’t worry, I’ll help you now. We Google it and you write it down’.”

Meanwhile the guy is still explaining the spelling predicament he has with his daughter to his friend.

“Sy vra my al die moeilike vrae. Ek maak somma asof ek slaap sometimes. Vra my yttie bloute ‘Daddy what is foreign exchange?’.”

“Ek wiet warrit is maa’ hoe explain ek in Engels virrie kin’?”

“Ek kô van Hanover Park; het Afrikaans grootgewôd. Dawn is van Ravensmead. Ken oekie baie Engels ‘ie, want as sy kwaad raak vi’ Tarryn, skel sy in Afrikaans. Ek lyste’ maa’ vi’ hulle.”

The friend listens in silence with a grin on his face; trying hard not to burst out laughing.

We slowly enter Thornton station where a handful of people board the train.
A vendor slips through the doors as they are about to close and announces “Morning! Morning people! Here’s your happy chappy. Glad to be of service. It’s my anniversary today; twenty years on the trains. Fifteen years married; never failed.”

“Always twice as nice. Today I only speak for England… understand you?” he says whilst swiftly moving down the aisle looking out for those R5 coins from loyal customers.

Meanwhile the conversation between the guy with the English dilemma continues.

“Vi’dag se laaities is mos advance man. Ek sê vi’ Dawn laat Tarryn Afrikaanse skool toe gaan. Sy kan haarself Engels lee’, ma’ nie… sy argue al die sisters en broes se kinnes is in Engelse skole.

“Hoe gaan Tarryn lyk tussen haa’ niggies en niefies? Sy gaan out of place voel en haa’ confidence gaan ‘n knou kry.”

“My argument is maakie saak Engels of Afrikaans; Dis hoe ôs die kinnes grootmaak.”

The friend listens and after a while he replies: “Man moet maar jou kinnes die beste gie en sacrifices maak, sodat hulle n beter kans het om success te behaal”.

“Djy wiet ôs was deprive van ‘n klomp goed, soe gie maa’ die kinnes ’n biete opportunity. Djy moet maa’ Engelse koerante koep en Engelse programs kyk om jou Engels op te touch ou broe,” the friend advises as the train arrives at Woodstock station.

As we approach the door the guy with English problems replies: “Ek doen daai, maa’ is nog altyd ’n problem as ’n man in Afrikaans dink… en die Afrikaanse woorde duik eerste op in jou kop ou bra”.

The voicemail lady announces that all trains to the Cape Flats are delayed due to bad weather conditions.

***

Urban Dictionary

laaitie – A colloquial South Afrikaans word for “child” used in
many different South African languages and is thought
to come from the English term ‘light-weight’ which
became ‘lighty’ meaning a lighter weight version of an
adult.
kô – The Afrikaaps version of “kom” which is Afrikaans for
“come”.
giste-aan – The Afrikaaps version of “gisteraand” which is the
Afrikaans word for “last night”.
loe – The Afrikaaps version of “loer” which is the Afrikaans
word for “peep”.
onnelangs – The Afrikaaps version of “onderlangs” which would be literally translated from Afrikaans as “below along” but
it means “undercover” or “covertly”.
oppie – The Afrikaaps version of “op die” which is Afrikaans for “on the”
gesig – The Afrikaans word for “face”.
hoekô – The Afrikaaps version of “hoekom” which is Afrikaans
word for “why”.
ôs – The Afrikaaps word for “ons” which is Afrikaans for
“us / we”.
kieppie – An Afrikaaps word for “fool” most often used
specifically for “a fool waiting in vain for something to
happen or for someone to arrive ”.
yttie bloute – The Afrikaaps version of the term “uit die bloute” which
is Afrikaans for “out of the blue(ness)”.
wiet – The Afrikaaps version of “weet” which is the
Afrikaans word for “know”.
warrit is – The Afrikaaps version of “wat dit is” which is the Afrikaans for “what it is”.
oekie – The Afrikaaps version of “ook nie” which in Afrikaans means “also not” or indirectly could mean “either/neither”.
virrie – The Afrikaaps version of “vir die” which in Afrikaans means “for the”.
vi’dag – The Afrikaaps version of “vandag” which is Afrikaans for “today”
grootgewôd – The Afrikaaps version of “groot geword” which is
Afrikaans for “grew up”.
broes – The Afrikaaps word for “broers” which is Afrikaans for “brothers”
niggie – The Afrikaans word for a “female cousin”. See also
“nig”.
niefie – The Afrikaaps version of “neefie” which along with the
word “neef” is Afrikaans for a “male cousin”.
knou – An Afrikaans word for “knock” or “bruise”.
kin/kinnes – The Afrikaaps version of “kind/kinders” which is Afrikaans for “child/children”. In this case it specifically refers to children but on the Cape Flats “kin” could also mean a young adult female or specifically someone’s girlfriend and the plural “kinnes” refers to a group of young adult females. It is not deemed to be derogatory.
biete – The Afrikaaps version of “beter” which is Afrikaans for “better”.
“Hoekô het djy’rie kin in n Engelse skool gesit? Nou sit ôs hie’ soes kieppies.”
“Why did you put the child in an English school? Now we are sitting here like fools.”

“Ek maak somma asof ek slaap sometimes.”
“Sometimes I simply act as if I’m sleeping.”

“Ek wiet warrit is maa’ hoe explain ek in Engels virrie kin’?”
“I know what it is, but how do I explain it in English to a child?”

“Ek kô van Hanover Park; het Afrikaans grootgewôd. Dawn is van Ravensmead. Ken oekie baie Engels ‘ie,”
“I come from Hanover Park; grew up Afrikaans. Dawn is from Ravensmead; does not know a lot of English either.”

“As sy kwaad raak vi’ Tarryn, skel sy in Afrikaans. Ek lyste’ maa’ vi’ hulle.”
“When she gets angry at Tarryn, she scolds in Afrikaans. I just listen to them.”

“Vi’dag se laaities is mos advance man. Ek sê vi’ Dawn laat Tarryn Afrikaanse skool toe gaan. Sy kan haarself Engels lee’.”
“Today’s children are actually advanced man. I told Dawn that she should let Tarryn go to an Afrikaans school. She can learn English by herself.”

“Sy argue al die sisters en broes se kinnes is in Engelse skole”
“She argues that all of her sisters’ and brothers’ children are in English schools.”

“Hoe gaan Tarryn lyk tussen haa’ niggies en niefies? Sy gaan out of place voel en haa’ confidence gaan ‘n knou kry.”
“How would Tarryn compare to her cousins? She will feel out of place and her confidence will be bruised.”

“My argument is maakie saak Engels of Afrikaans; Dis hoe ôs die kinnes grootmaak”
“My argument is that it does not matter whether it is Englisgh or Afrikaans. It is how we raise our children (that matters).”

“Man moet maar jou kinnes die beste gie en sacrifices maak, sodat hulle n beter kans het om success te behaal.”
“A man / One should rather give ones children the best and make sacrifices so that they have a better chance of achieving success.”

“Djy wiet ôs was deprive van ‘n klomp goed, soe gie maa’ die kinnes ’n biete opportunity.”
“You know we have been deprived of many things, so rather give the children a better opportunity.”

“Djy moet maa’ Engelse koerante koep en Engelse programs kyk om jou Engels op te touch ou broe.”
“You should rather buy English newspapers and watch English programs so that you can touch up on your English old brother.”

“Ek doen daai, maa’ is nog altyd ’n problem as ’n man in Afrikaans dink.”
“I do that, but it is still a problem when a man thinks in Afrikaans.”

“Die Afrikaanse woorde duik eerste op in jou kop ou bra.”
“The Afrikaans words are the first to pop into your head old friend.”

“Speaking for England” is a term used on the Cape Flats when someone in a predominantly Afrikaans group or someone whose mother tongue is not English decides to speak English out of choice and not out of necessity.
It is especially used when the person speaks a form of broken English as displayed when the vendor says ‘understand you?’ instead of “Do you understand?”