The Table hides its face whilst a lady draws on a cigarette as if her life depends on it. A mixture of tar, nicotine and tobacco leaves attack her lungs. She hurriedly exhales and momentarily sets her lungs free. Smoke rushes through her glowing curly hair like a bush on fire.
The siren of the fast approaching train sounds in the distance. As it enters the station a well-set lady on high-heels charges the train like a raging bull charges a matador. Her left shoe steps onto an area where the tarmac of the platform and paving meet. Her foot and shoe bend awkwardly with embarrassing results. One can almost hear the heel complaining that it can’t handle the angle just before it snaps right off.
Suddenly our lady is noticeably shorter on her left hand side but she still manages to swiftly enter the carriage. She searches her bag for a moment and out jumps two flat less elegant slip-on shoes. We are of the same height now, I notice. The broken high-heels disappear into the handbag.
”Koep twie Oscar shooters en get two free. Bail my yt mense,” the vendor says as he moves down the aisle. Showing them a ruler length sweet, four scholars decide to indulge in this apparent bargain. With the swiftness of a magician four sweets are exchanged for a R5.
”Djy skul’ my mos n ran’ van nourie oggen’ girl,” the vendor says to one of the scholars. She responds with a beaming smile.
”Kry vi’ Oscar, kry hom, kry hom,” he continues showing his stuff.
”Ek wonne hoevil jaa’ gan hy kry,” a guy asks the lady next to him.
”Is mos nou murder, soe vi ’n first offender kry hy mos te meniste vyftien jaa’ maa’ sy grootste straf is ‘ie embarrassment en shame,” she says.
”Ek en Joslin skel deurrie badkame’ deu’ en ek dreig om haa’ te choke as sy my wallet soe syl, maa’ skiet? Aikona…” he replies.
”Charlie wil mos ’n 9mil koep om gloe vi ôs te protect. Ek se hom djy gan jou gun vriet of daai jongens maak jou vrek vi’ jou gun. Ek bid voo’ ek gan slaap. Ek gooi n lange.”
“Daai wassie laaste discussion van ’n gun,” she concludes.
At Bellville station Miss Hi Heels makes her way to a shoe repair shop.
”Sit somma yste hakke regdeu’… is cheaper innie long run,” dink ek by myself.
***
Urban Dictionary
koep The Afrikaaps version of “koop” meaning ‘buy’.
twie The Afrikaaps version of “twee” which means “two”.
Oscar Shooters are the urban slang name of a hard flat and long sweet and it comes from the idea that it reminds people of Oscar Pistorius’ steel blades.
“Djy skul’ my mos n ran’ van nourie oggen’ girl”
“Girl, you owe me a rand since the other morning.”
”Ek wonne hoevil jaa’ gan hy kry.”
“I wonder how many years he will get.”
”Is mos nou murder, soe vi ’n first offender kry hy mos te meniste vyftien jaa’ maa’ sy grootste straf is ‘ie embarrassment en shame.”
“It is murder now, so as a first offender he gets at least fifteen years, but the biggest punishment is the embarrassment and shame.”
“Ek en Joslin skel deurrie badkame’ deu’ en ek dreig om haa’ te choke as sy my wallet soe syl, maa’ skiet? Aikona…”
“Joslin and I scold each other through the bathroom door and I threaten to choke her when she steals money from my wallet, but shoot her? No ways.”
“Charlie wil mos ’n 9mil koep om gloe vi ôs te protect. Ek se hom djy gan jou gun vriet of daai jongens maak jou vrek vi’ jou gun. Ek bid voo’ ek gan slaap. Ek gooi n lange.”
“Charlie wants to buy a 9mm (gun) apparently to protect us. I told him he will end up having to eat his gun or guys will try to kill him for his gun. I pray before I go to bed. I will leave him.”
“Daai wassie laaste discussion van ’n gun.”
“That was the last discussion about a gun.”
“Sit somma yste hakke regdeu’… Is cheaper.”
“Rather put heels of steel throughout… it’s cheaper in the long term.”