Summer is giving us a glimpse by gently smiling at us a bit earlier every morning. The chirping of the birds sounds happier too.
“Hey! Jarre… Ampe dinges die seagull op my!” a guy shouts whilst jumping out of the way of a seagull poop coming from above.
How he saw it coming remains a mystery while at the same time how he can’t see the train coming is confusing. He must be able to see around the bend too?
“Djy’s gelukkig ou bra,” another guy says giggling.
“True,” the escape artist replies and then adds, “My hele dag sal gespoil gewiesit.”
“Ek was eenkee’ nie soe gelukkag ‘ie,” the other guy says; this time just smiling.
“’n Mooi swa’t jacket aangehad; fresh haircut; biesag op Facebook met my tablet,” he explains.
“Yoh…” the escape artist says and giggles holding his hand in front of his mouth.
“Plus I had a nice girl standing next to me; busy inviting her on Facebook.”
“Eish bra,” Mr Escape says closing his eyes.
“So what happened next guy?” he enquires opening his eyes looking embarrassed and sympathetic at the same time.
“Bra that bird had open bowels deluxe eksê. It dropped an atomic bomb all over my hair, on my jacket, and the rest splashed all over the tablet’s screen. I’m like asking this chick, ‘Hey what’s that? What just happened? Where did that come from?’”
One can see him reliving that morning by the way he’s pulling his face.
“Hey bra, yooh… I don’t know what I would have done; perhaps hide somewhere until everybody’s gone,” the escape artist continues.
“I splashed under a tap around the corner; got back into a taxi and went straight back home bra,” the guy replies.
“And the chick?” the escape artist curiously wants to know.
“Nah, cool gal,” he answers with a thumbs-up gesture. “She helped me remove the worst part of it while saying how sorry she was,” he says with a broad smile.
“What happened to her?” the escape artist asks even more curious this time.
“She’s my gal now. How could I let her slip away?”
“I mean bra… She called to hear whether I’m fine and apologised again as if that was her bird causing the damage.”
“I told her that I’ll be much better if she agrees to go on a date with me. The rest is history, like they say,” he says looking proud of himself.
“Aweh! What a guy! Oppie ball my ma se kin,” the escape artist says while giving the other guy a high five.
The seagull gracefully glides overhead shouting like mad in approval, or is it announcing that the train is appearing from around the bend a minute later than it actually does?
***
Urban Dictionary
jarred – An Afrikaaps variant of “jirre” which is the Afrikaaps for “here” the plural of “heer” which means “lord”. In this case the expression has the same meaning as “geewizz”.
ampe – The Afrikaaps version of “amper” which is the Afrikaans word for “almost”.
dinges – A filler word used in Afrikaaps to either replace a word you are struggling to get to or to replace a word that is taboo. It’s used in a similar way as “thingamabob”.
gewiesit – The Afrikaaps version of “gewees het” which is Afrikaans for “would have been”.
eenkee’ – The Afrikaaps version of “eenkeer” which is the Arikaans word for “once”.
swa’t – The Afrikaaps version of “swart” which is the Arikaans word for “black”.
biesag – The Afrikaaps version of “besig” which is the Afrikaans word for “busy”.
oppie – The Afrikaaps version of “op die” which in Arikaans means “on the”.