People normally ask me how do you do it; how do you and your partner, after all these years, still manage to look as content and happy as the first time you guys got together? Well, I’ve never thought deeply about it; we’ve always just been us. By us, I mean, I’ve always been honest about who and what I am and so has he.

Relationships aren’t easy, but they shouldn’t take a lot of effort and work either. You both have to know what you want in a partner and have to be ready and willing to commit to that. A relationship is supposed to be a deeper, connected and invested friendship. It took me a long time before I understood that, and that may be the reason why I was single throughout my teen years.

Then one day, while talking to my best friend about something that was bothering me, I realised that he knew me better than I knew myself. He had an answer ready before I even poured my heart out. I came to realise that what I’d been looking for had been staring me in the face the entire time. He was my best friend, bodyguard, my therapist, my partner in crime and my biggest fan. When that realisation hit me, I couldn’t believe how blind I’d been, but boy was I happy that it hit me then because he felt the same way I did.

Being in a relationship didn’t change neither of us; I’m still a closet nerd with a deep voice and quirky laugh and he’s still the supportive friend who laughed at my jokes even when no one else does and whom I play word games with. Over the years our love for each other has grown deeper but we still don’t take the small things seriously, yes we argue just like every couple but we have a rule about solving arguments before we go to sleep. When either of us is angry about something the other has done we have an angry jar, we write notes and apologies and put them in a jar for the other to read at a time when the other has cooled off.

We’ve found ways of keeping out love alive and strong by doing things that come naturally. Love shouldn’t be hard work. We write each other a love letter each week; even though we say it, it is still romantic and meaningful read a letter in which your better half expresses their love and adoration for you. The small things are the things that really matter, like him frying me an egg even though we both know he can’t cook to save his life or me getting more educated on sports so that I can join him in screaming at a coach or player on TV.

Being in a relationship is all about selflessness; you have to think about the other person as much as you think about yourself. You have to be willing to give all of yourself even though there are no guarantees of him ever asking you to marry him. You have to live in the moments you share together and you have to support each other regardless of family and friend’s judgements. It’s having faith and belief that he/she loves you for you regardless of who you are or you’re past.

There are many reasons why my partner and I seem to be as happy now as we were when we started dating a couple of years back; it’s because we both understand there is no place for ego and competition within a relationship. Also that trust and faith in each other is the most important gift we can give each other. He doesn’t have faith that I’ll ever understand European soccer but has the trust to believe that I’ll try because I know how much he enjoys watching a football game with me. Even though I ask questions throughout the entire game.

Written by Veronica Boyi

***

If you would like to feature on our Facebook Page, email us your best styled outfit on justtrendiblog@gmail.com

Find me on Facebook or on Twitter using the handle @JustTrendi