I have always associated myself deliberately with various kinds of disruptions. 

The group of friends in school that were reading Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire because of realising that there’s somewhat a disservice in what and how we were being taught, I was there. 

I am also part of the group of artists who refuse to make work for the sake of making work because of pressure around us to be seen to be doing something “productive” because I chose to create from a place of intention, care and truth. I also have discovered a love for satire as a way of confronting the things around me so yes, I do somewhat have a rebellious, justice-seeking bone in me. 

Which brings me to sharing my favourite revolution, which is love. 

This social media time we are in has been a very interesting one to witness and to be a part of. There is a lot of conversation around loving ourselves and understanding how we want others to love us, but I’ve realised that because so much of it exists on our phones and laptops, actually practising all of these is the part we forget about the most and it’s also the most difficult and uncomfortable. I know this because I am part of those conversations through reposting, sharing and commenting. 

So in as much as something as sensitive and intimate as loving ourselves is, because everything around us is so fast-paced, rushed and short-lived, we treat loving ourselves as a phase, as a moment that will pass, as an era. 

I believe in the urgency of the movement of Black Consciousness  in the history of Black people to be as urgent and necessary as liking our selves realistically, practically, fully, truly. 

Growing up, I believed that someday a man will fall in love with me, choose me and I will live happily for the rest of my life because his love for me will rescue me and see me through. I look at my life right now and the things I always ask myself are, “Do I like myself? What is lacking in my life so much so that I need to be rescued by a man?” I feel it is my duty to work on that so that I’m able to love from a place of abundance within myself. 

A romantic relationship is one that adds on to what I have already established on my own. I have set out for my life right now to be present and intentional in how I love myself and how I love others and want to be loved. This is not to say that everything needs to revolve around me and work for me, but it’s to say it is through loving myself that I am able to write stories that will change the world, it is by loving myself that I can share myself for these various disruptions I am passionate about, it is by loving myself that I can fight for the rights of others and understand that we all need to be kind to others, it’s because I am already kind to myself. 

In an Instagram post to celebrate his birthday, Khaya Dlanga posted a picture and listed fifteen things he always reminds himself on each birthday, number eight is, “Fill yourself up first before you fill up others. When you give what you do not have, you become resentful. Overflow so that you give because you can’t help it since you have so much coming out of you.  Be it love, money, opportunity, a smile. True giving comes from a place of overflow.” 

I would encourage everyone to overflow with love for self. That’s the revolution, that’s the era, that’s the hashtag, that’s the goal. Love ourselves as a form of disruption to capitalist society which makes it difficult to take moments to breathe and look at ourselves. Love ourselves as a form of distribution to beauty standards that make us lose sight of how absolutely stunning each of us are in our own ways. 

Love is the answer. 

This piece was written as part of the Fundza Fellowship Programme.