Since the day I was able to comprehend language and make meaning of words by myself, various people have always defined home differently. Initially, this used to puzzle me a bit, for I thought that home was one of the simplest things to define; just a place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household. Since I was young, I knew there were alternatives to that definition I had. People were calling other people homes, others were calling school home, others church home, others called living in the streets home, and others called their workplace home still, I wondered what the exact definition of home is. I then came to an understanding that a home is a place of belonging, be it mental, physical or emotional.

One of the well-versed women, Maya Angelou said something about the paradox of belonging “You only are free when you realise you belong to no place – you belong to every place – no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great.” Just when I thought I had an understanding of what home and belonging were, the quote from Maya confused me for a while till I realised that in essence, the happiest I have been was when I have tried not to attach myself to anyone or anything but in loving them I became part of them, but also I realised that love is the essence of what unites us, no matter who we are and where we are just because we all were born with hearts that have the potential to love, where love is at that is where we find a sense of belonging. I then realised that we can carry love wherever we go meaning that wherever one goes they have the potential to belong. The moment my understanding deepened I became the freest from thinking that I can only belong where there are people of similar attributes to mine. I now understand that I can belong everywhere.

I was born and bred in the rural Eastern Cape, in a small village of Tsomo called Mhlahlane. Home is the place I encountered love, a place where I was nurtured by a community of people, with my parents as the principal caregivers. Their teachings, training and nurturing equipped and shaped me, such that even now that I am far from them and studying in an institution of higher education, I am still grounded by their teachings. When I first came to University, I had a culture shock since I met people that are different from me, from different races with a different value system than mine. With all the preparation and equipment that took place for most of my life, I still struggled to fit in, I struggled to belong, and I struggled to be part of it. I was frustrated because I did not understand why I felt like I did not belong I did not understand the void I felt by being far from home, a place of nurturing and comfort.

It was during this journey that I got to realise that the only criteria I needed to meet to belong were to bring love and acceptance wherever I went. I then realised that all that I thought I needed to possess to be able to fit in, in all honesty, mattered not. Now I can confidently say that I wake up every morning to greet the version of myself that is bolder, wiser, self-aware, graceful, loving and accepting, this is all because I met love and then belonging. Since I know I belong everywhere, I hope I will never forget the teaching and pieces of training that were instilled in my heart whilst growing up and that they will crown me with glory and favour as they ground me in life.

This story was written as part of the Fundza Fellowship programme.