A while after Chwayta left, I wore my tracksuit and tekkies and headed for Ayanda’s home, and it was apparent from a distance that they were preparing for an important event. There was a fire outside, and people were coming in and out of the house. I stood in front of his home and began shouting. “Hey Ayanda njandini, phuma uzapha.”

When I began shouting, everyone turned to look at me, and the neighbours came out because it was spectacle.

“I was a virgin when you met me Ayanda, I was a virgin,” I continued screaming. “You took that away from me. Now you’re getting married to another woman, what about the marriage you promised me? You killed my baby and left me without a womb, and I will never have children in my life again.”

While I was screaming, Ayanda’s mother came out and insulted me. She called me a loose girl who was probably impregnated by some pharaphara boy. I did not believe that Ayanda’s mother was speaking to me that way, and when I was blinded by anger, I jumped at her throwing closed fists at her. She fell on the ground and I scratched her face with my fingers. I clawed at her with all my might, but a few guys managed to get me off of her.

“Get this witch out of my property, now,” Ayanda’s mother screamed. The guys then dragged me out of the yard and into the street. When I got up, I saw Ayanda’s car coming, so I quickly gathered some stones and flung them at it.

I crushed Ayanda’s car windows, and when the guys came out, it was already too late. Ayanda wanted to beat me, but his younger brother and two other guys held him back. The police were called, and I was taken to the station and spent the night in a holding cells. Tat’Langa was a police officer, so he made some phone calls so I could have a bail hearing that morning instead of waiting for Monday.

After pleading for bail, I was charged with assault and destruction of property and given a bail of R200. My mother came to pay the bail. I thought she was going to shout at me, but she didn’t seemed to feel sorry for me. Ayanda and Chwayta got married that Saturday, and apparently it the wedding of the year.

The case did not go to trial because Ayanda and his mother dropped the charges. I spent the following two years angry with Ayanda, with myself, and with God, though. I would hear news that Ayanda and Khanya were the most beautiful couple at church, and I even heard about it when they had their first child. I started drinking and being promiscuous, but sis Lizzie never gave up on me. She sent me encouraging texts every day, and she even called occasionally and even visited me at home.

One Monday evening, I woke in the middle of the night and felt a very strong presence of the Holy Spirit. I was not able to sleep because of this, so I went to the sitting room. I had this conviction in my heart that it was now enough. The Holy Spirit was telling me that the anger and destruction was enough. The anger I had was destroying me, and I knew in my heart that if I continued with the way I was living, I was going to die.

The following morning, I took a decision to let go of the pain and the anger, and I picked up the pieces of my life in order to make it work. I applied for a BCur at Fort Hare East London, and by the grace of God I got accepted into the programme. I was unable to commit to any church for a few years, though, but in the final year of my studies, I gave my life to Christ again.

I now work at Frere Hospital in East London. My long term plans are to open a non-profit organization which will care for abandoned babies. The most important thing is that I forgave myself and I forgave Ayanda. The love I received from Christ cannot allow me to continue hating.

Tell us: What do you think about this story?