How do you keep on living even though you are shaken to the core?

I saw the actions of my father again for the second time, in the short time that he had been around in my life. What was I to the world? I was an old bag of bones no one takes in. All the troubles, lies and unfaithfulness, can she now fix every cut in my soul and mend the broken pieces of my heart?

All the dreams that I have dreamt with her in my life were gone. I had to go to sleep and nurse my broken heart and dream of a different life. This was not so simple – to just wake up and move on with what is left when you’re suffering from the wounds of war.

What was once special to you, always remains so, no matter how much blood was shed in the fight. But I must now just watch it from a distance. Time slowly heals things.

I have one of the brightest smiles and not because of how much I have but because of the love I receive from those who claim my heart. Lontuh’s love comes once in a lifetime.

I seek love to this day, hoping that it will find me. But was I born with a shallow heart? The parting of two souls had LONTUH broken in two halves LO…. goes her way and NTU…… there he wonders again dripping blood. Ot is the end of a union.

Life went on as it was supposed to but I felt stuck. I couldn’t forget about her. In my heart she was the love of my life. But one may wonder, how so? Especially after what she did to me? Yes, because love doesn’t just evaporate like water.

I cry when I’m all by myself, nursing my broken heart. I am injured yes, but the question still remains, will she ever come back as she still holds pieces of me. Tomorrow will come. Will things change or will I bleed out and be left for dead? Who can I blame? Should it be love or Londeka or do I blame myself for emitting such levels of love?

Sometimes I wonder if I am worthy of love? My heart pulls in different directions. How can I continue alone? How can I be in love alone? How can all my dreams lie with someone who is now walking away, leaving an empty space in my life?

There she stands in a distance and disappearing in a sea of people. It is as if my wings can no longer fly. How can they? Because she was the wind beneath my wings. If ever I lose this time, I lose to love. Again the thought of that angelic voice brings anguish and sorrow. I see no life anymore. A grave covered with nature looks more ideal.

All roads end here. I didn’t reserve an escape route. I never thought I’d need one.

What do you think of this story? Do you have advice for the main character?