“As much as I know and understand that you are hurting, I advise that you don’t do anything that you will regret for the rest of your life. Especially now with the trial coming up, you sure will need each other,” said Stella.

Jennifer never responded but just thought, “They all think that I’m made of glass, that I’ll break if they say anything harsh.”

Seeing that look on her face, Stella said, “I am not saying that the trial will be all peaches and cream, but it might turn out to be something great for you. In the end you would be able to have a good night’s rest, knowing that those dogs are behind bars for a long time, and excuse my use of the word. I have no doubt whatsoever in my mind that they are going down for some time, dear. What do you think?” she asked.

“I honestly don’t know what to think, for my imagination is askew,” responded Jennifer.

Stella went on and said, “I reckon you know I am not a qualified psychologist or anything, but I know for a fact that the trial will give you closure, and with closure comes acceptance. You know, the moment you accept that what happened was not of your design, the better for you to focus on the most important things in your life. Believe me, my sister, I am not saying you are in denial. All I am saying is that it helps to accept things that you can’t change in life, however difficult that may be, and you still have your whole life ahead of you. And I need not mention your hubby and your kids…”

It was proving to be too much for her to hear her sister-in-law talk like that because it was the first time since she had been raped that she had had a lengthy chit chat with anyone except the doctor, the prosecutor, and the cops. This was different: it was a woman-to-woman kind of thing, but Stella was merely talking from her thoughts, not experiences. It was when she was enclosed by darkness that her stifling fear of what was coming, unknown as it was, her pressing need for closure, her realization that unless she broke out of this rut she would never get anywhere, crowded in on her, as it did every night when she turned off the light. She informed Stella and her brother that whatever happened would not fix things between her and her husband. And this is what she said, and I quote: “There is no sacrifice in the world that I am not prepared to make in order to do so. I have tried every trick in the book, and I am not winning, so we are going to get a divorce.”

“What? That is brutal,” protested Blessing, who had been quiet all along when the women were having a woman-to-woman chat. “I know it’s not easy, but the fact is you cannot throw in the towel, you cannot put a permanent stop to a temporary problem.

“I can only pray to God that you know what you are doing,” he said at last, throwing his hands up.

Jennifer said, “Things will never be the same; it’s impossible, or let me say that it’s highly unlikely, like needing twenty-four runs from a single ball (that is cricket, for those in the dark). I believe one would do better to grasp the nettle.”

“Delay that decision for a bit. Delay wouldn’t add to your worries, would it?”

“My worries!” said Jennifer with a bit of sarcasm in her voice, new to her brother. “What do you know about worries?”

“A good deal, Jenny,” he said, “and I sincerely feel they would be a lot lessened if you faced the situation squarely with that intelligent mind of yours.”

Stella, seeing that her husband was not winning, chipped in and said, “I know, my sister, that we might appear as if we are straying from the point. Whatever you are going through, know that it was not by your husband’s design, and he is more or less going through the very same pains. You must take refuge in that fact, as hard as it is. May I take the liberty to remind you that you are in this together, and you have to do everything in your powers to find that spark again in your marriage? Maybe look back and think what attracted you to him from the word go.

“If you are going to go through with this, I suggest that you take your time, and never make any hasty decision that you will regret for the rest of your life. After all, this is the very man that you promised to love in health and in sickness. I know it’s hard, sister, but since when have you become a quitter?”

Jennifer walked to the door, and then stopped and turned slowly. With a certain degree of dignity she said, “I am afraid the damage is done, and nothing can ever fix that. Believe me, I sincerely wish that things could go back to what they were, but it’s just impossible, so the sooner we call it quits while we still can breathe the same air, the better for both of us – and for the kids.” She then walked out, denying them the chance to try and convince her otherwise.

When she had left the room her brother said to his wife, “She is turning out to be such a funny lady. She never showed her feelings much. She doesn’t behave as if she was in love with that man, or does she?”

Unbeknown to them, Jennifer was standing behind the door and she heard them. She pushed the door ajar a bit, peered in, and said, “Ble?” (short for Blessing) “Just for the record, I love and always will love Jabulani, hence this is for the best. If I didn’t love him as much as I do, I would just string him along, but, sorry, I can’t because I love him, and, above all, that is not my style.”

“That too doesn’t necessarily follow,” said Blessing’s wife. She proceeded and said, “However, we don’t need to quibble. We will take your word for it. After all, you have no reason to tell us untruths. In regards to the more practical aspects, perhaps you won’t mind if I ask you a few rather personal questions?” She went on without waiting for her approval or objection, and she said, “Please don’t take this the wrong way; are you by any chance seeing someone, or do you now have the hots for someone who is not privy to what you went through?”

That question took even her husband by surprise because he hadn’t seen it coming. At that point Jennifer didn’t know what to say. She was shell shocked and she merely said, “I don’t think that I will be in a position to love any other man in my life as much as I loved Jabulani. After all, he is the only man that I ever loved with that love you know.” She tried to force a smile.

Stella said, “Well, that settles it, then. Please try to work things out with him, if not for yourself then for your kids. And I must add, it was so sweet of you to be so frank and informative. Darling, believe me, it’s quite natural that you should feel this way. I know that you feel like life has cheated you so much, but believe me, that is what life is all about. We have to toil and work our asses off, and what do we have to show for it?”

Jennifer chipped in and said, “Honestly, I no longer give a rat’s ass about all that.”

“You sound a bit bitter, dear,” said Stella.

Jennifer said, “Oh no, not bitter, just realistic.”

The two women continued talking, ignoring Blessing as if he were not there, and he did not know what to say. Fortunately, his cell phone came to his rescue when it rang, and it was his secretary reminding him of an important meeting that was due in thirty minutes. So, after cutting the call, he apologized to his sister and wife, telling them that he had to rush to the office to tidy up a few things and he would be back, although he insisted that if ever they wanted him he was just a phone call away. With that said, he went out, closed the door, and left the two women to do what women do best; that is to talk and try to comfort each other. The departure of Stella’s husband left a huge void, and Stella felt as if she had been thrown into a lion’s den. Blessing’s presence was a comfort on its own, even though he did not say much, so, when he had left, Stella offered to make a meal for her sister-in-law and kids.

When Blessing got to his office, he found that all the parties that were to take part in the meeting were already seated in the conference room, waiting for him. He hastily walked in, pulled out his chair, and said his apologies, which were gladly accepted by the client and his colleagues. The meeting commenced, but sadly Blessing’s mind was just too far away. He was there in flesh and blood, but his mind was still at his sister’s house; in other words, he was absent-minded.

***

Tell us: What do you think is going through Blessing’s mind?