Have you ever seen something vanish so quick, like it never existed?

That is what the years did; they went by so fast, like a train, you blink once and you miss it. Lubabalo became a stranger in those high school years. He would wake up early just to eat and sleep again. Sometimes he ate in the morning and left, only to return late at night. The house became a place for him to lay his head. Yes, a B&B.

He did drugs like no other. It was a true addiction; the boy I once knew was no longer there, just somebody I used to know. But my love for him was strong. He was all I knew, my backbone my blood. And blood is thicker than water; you don’t turn your back on someone who always was there when you needed them the most.

I did want him to change his ways and be the good man that I knew he was. He thought me so much. Like me, he loved music, sometimes I wish he could have found refuge in it like I did. But who can tell the future? I’m sure even he didn’t know his life would turn out like it did. We really don’t know what tomorrow brings. I pray every day for all the pain I feel. I know Jesus is the way to the Lord, God, and he is the only one who can provide answers. He used to say, “Only God can judge me.” Vele, judgement is not for us to give.

What if you could turn back time? How far back would you go? For me it would be way back. Now I know things were bad because we didn’t have much, but it was sure better than this century we’re living in. Even now we still don’t have much. But back then we could visit relatives who were more successful than us. It was like going to the mall for the first time. You would be thinking, damn this place is huge and there’s so much stuff in here – this and that! Lubabalo and I admired such; it was like taking a journey to another life. We shared a dream. I don’t know what went wrong.

The the devil got his attention and started to whisper in his ear. He dropped out of school in Grade 10, he was so close. His mother begged him to go back to school. “You are going to regret this; you are on your own, Hope. I don’t have wealth, and education is all I can give you,” she would say.

He really did not listen. He just thought he knew this bumpy road called life. That’s what life is; if you don’t have your seatbelt on you are bound to get injured in an accident. He was a lova, very stout. From then on he wondered the streets, doing all one can imagine.

He started to rob people just to get a fix; that’s what drugs do. They make you do whatever it takes so you can get high again and do unthinkable things you never thought you would do. He was a taker, a striker; he turned the candy he was to something very bitter.