You Can’t Please Everyone

The most risky behaviour happens mostly among the youth for various reasons. Those reasons may lead young people into committing risky behaviours like the abuse of drugs, alcohol, suicide, and peer pressure.

As a young man, I made many mistakes and behaved in a bad manner by disrespecting my elders and everyone around me. I was only trying to fit in with a crew of friends because I was under a lot of pressure, and I did not have a choice. Like they always say, “If you can’t beat them, join them”. When I joined the crew, it was fun in the beginning because we were grabbing a lot of attention at school, and we were being bossy towards other students at school. I did not know that I was digging a grave for myself by hurting people’s feelings.

The reason why I wanted to join the crew was that I wanted to protect myself from other crews. I also joined the imperial powerful crew just for fame and status at school.

It started when the crew leader, Victor Morobane, gave me the terms and conditions of his crew. “Will you follow my instructions and do as I say, Gift?” he asked.

“Crystal clear, honourable Victor,” I responded, using those big words while full of enthusiasm.

Young men, note this in your mind, heart, and soul. Never erase it in your mind because this is not a threat, it is a guarantee, unless you want to face the music and suffer the consequences.

In the early morning of April 21, we had a crew meeting. Honourable Victor Morobane welcomed me in front of every member of the crew, and he gave me the first task to do in order to prove that I wanted to be a member of his crew. I said I was willing to do everything he wanted.

“Oh wow,” Victor said. “I am pleased to hear that you know what’s good for you as a real man. Your task is to run my territory by selling drugs to our fellow schoolmates.”

The bell then rang for assembly, and we went running to attend. At the assembly, we had honourable men from the “SAPS”, or South African Police Service. We praised God as usual and prayed. Afterward, our school Principal, Mr. Moagi, welcomed our visitors, and we, as students, did so too. He then called one of the members of the SAPS the other aspects that can lead you”, Captain Mr. Rakau.

“MR Rakau, here are our students, and I hope they will be learning a lot from you as a parent,” Mr Moagi said to Captain Rakau.

The students gave a round of applause to show respect and show how they appreciated their visitors.

“First of all, I would like to pass all my salutations to you my fellow students and teachers from left and right, not forgetting our honourable Principal, Mr. Moagi,” Captain Rakau said. “The principal has mentioned my name, so mine is to proceed. As I am standing in front of you, I am not here alone. I came with other police officers, as you can see, so I will be presenting on their behalf too. I would like to motivate and teach our coming youth about the risky behaviours that have been taking place in our country. We have different types of risky behaviours, like drugs, alcohol, and suicide. We also have peer pressure.

“Firstly, I will start with drugs, which is one of the biggest concerns in our country when it comes to our youth. Drug abuse takes place when our students start smoking for fun and later pretend as if it was only for stress relief. Bit by bit, the drugs harm their lungs and internal brain box, and they are very dangerous to their health, which will lead to stress, depression, and mental illness. The aspect that can lead you to drugs is choosing the wrong friends who are party animals every weekend.

“Secondly, sometimes we find friends who always want you to please them when coming to alcohol abuse. They want you to prove that you are a drunken master of alcohol. We can forgive the other person for their wrong if needed, and we can look in the mirror and see where we need to grow and what part we are playing in the situation. Yes, our body does need alcohol, but only a few percentages. This is because it can reduce the ability of driving and safety, mostly for females because there is a high rate of human trafficking in our country.

“Lastly, most of the youth in our country are facing cases where they are committing suicide because they cannot reach the standard of pleasing their friends. It is not a hyperbole, because many people are committing suicide with different reasons. Coming to South Africa, most of our youth try to please their partners by killing themselves, which is suicide. They do it because they had arguments and made silly comments towards each other, and they were yelling at each other when they did not get along anymore. I am devastated about this whole situation, and we need to change. Even if you conquer it yourself and you think that you do not need help, just know that you should never undermine small things, because small things are big things, but only if we do not take them for granted in every situation we come across.”

One of the students misbehaved towards the Captain while he was speaking, and he made jokes about him. The student was trying to show everyone how disrespectful he was in front of the whole assembly. The students were laughing loudly when the young man was teasing the Captain bout his glasses and specs.

“Hey boy, come,” the Captain said. “Come here.”

The young man avoided the Captain, but the Captain called one of the students and asked her who the silly boy who had no respect at all was.

“Chris,” the girl responded.

The Captain called Chris to come forward, and when Chris got to the steps, the Captain made an example with Chris by punishing him and beating him until he apologised to the him. Chris then confessed that he was trying to please everyone.

That was music to my ears.

Many people were gallivanting from place to place after the end of Apartheid and the welcoming of the new South Africa, only to find that most Black people had started being under a lot of temptation and challenges in life because of freedom. Yes, you cannot please everyone, but you can build a good profile and a good life now and in the future.

Fame kills, and here is how:

Being famous is not all about living a fancy life and being high and holier than thou, but it is about having many fans. You will then live under a lot of threat and pressure because you must do everything to please your fans, so that you can rate your evolution based on every new chapter you take in life and go ahead with life.

Because you are being bullied by friends because of your low self-esteem and lack of confidence in everything you do, some other times you will find yourself as a punching bag for every guy you come across because you cannot be able to please them. Take it as if nothing happened to you, because you know deep inside that no one can force you to please everyone. Only God can do that to you, because he will protect you in every situation you face in life as a challenge.

If only you knew that people can change like heaven and earth. People can do that as time goes by because every second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year, decade, century people change.

The most reliable thing to do is to be honest with yourself about life, and know your plans and accept who you are. Never push too hard to please everyone but yourself, because people will not love you, even though some will. Remember that you are not money, which can please or be loved by everyone.

People will not dislike you because of the way you are, but ethics and morals build a person more and more. Respect also means a lot towards other people. The biggest thing in the world is for you to know where you belong and your sense of honour. Always remember that you cannot please everyone in the world, no matter how much you convince yourself that you can.

You better pack all your paraphernalia, vamoose, and move on with your life. Have a covenant between you and God. Temptations will always be there, but always have self-control.

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Tell us: What advice would you give someone who is trying to please everyone?