When I first met you, I felt my heart beat racing so fast that I even lost my concentration on what I was doing. Believe me, that moment gave me the greatest feeling I have ever felt, but right then, my intuition started telling me that ‘I should not fall for you, because you will only break my heart’. Did I choose to listen to it, no!

Because I believed that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, I chose to ignore my intuition and allow my emotions to take control of me, instead of me controlling them. What can I say, I could not resist you, even when I tried so many times to do it. I just could not.

I started consoling myself with lies that, even if you asked me to date you, I would simply refuse and suggest that we should be ‘Ultra Friends’. Nonetheless, in the blink of an eye, I just saw myself falling for you. I enjoyed that feeling, but at the same time, I hated it because it felt very wrong. I had fear crawling all over me because of it. I could not describe what kind of fear it was at the time, so I decided to dodge the bullet and allow you to show me what you had in store for me, not knowing what will happen next.

You looked at me straight in the eyes, begged me to remove all the negative thoughts I had about you and give you a benefit of the doubt, and for me to allow you to show me what you were all about.

What did I do?

I stupidly did what you asked me to do, and gave you the key to my heart. The love I had for you blinded me, and so did the sparks of joy I felt within me, but when I stared back at you, I felt a great chemistry between us. I had many questions in my head, though. They were questions I had no answers for, and I was afraid to ask you at first because I was afraid that if I asked you, you would just ignore me and walk away.

Nonetheless, the questions kept ringing in my head every single day. They were questions like:

What will happen the day you decide to leave me for another girl? How will I feel if that happened? Do you really love me, or just my body? What are your real intentions about me? Would you leave me if you knew the whole truth about my past? Are you taking advantage of me because you can see I am just a simple girl who is not into living a fancy lifestyle or material things, and I have nothing, and I am unemployed? What is it that you really want from me?

Still, I had no answers for those questions, even though I had a fear of being too comfortable around you, and a fear of loving you too much. No matter how many times I tried to protect myself from that happening, I ended up doing exactly that.

I remember when I told you I love you and you just stared at me with no response, then you just walked away. When you spoke to me over the cell phone, you did not even talk about it. You just acted as if nothing had happened, and I felt very stupid and confused because of it. After a few weeks, you told me that you were scared to love me. That left me confused, but I did not want to show you. Instead, I promised you not to worry, and that I will never break your heart.

That was when I noticed that you had loosened up, and you promised me the same thing and told me that you love me for the very first time. I was very amused and everything from there went very well.

Tell us: Have you ever found it difficult to tell someone how you feel about them?