Nare was finally seen at a club in Newtown. It was after winter so Noko went knocking at this suburban home in Randburg not far away from his place in Northhill, where he heard his brother was staying.

“I will get it babe,” a voice said from inside and when the door opened a strange man stood there. Noko thought he might have the wrong address.

“Hi, may I help you?” the man asked.

“Excuse me, I am looking for my brother Nare, I heard he was living at this address?” he said and the man looked at him from up and down. Then he slowly eased the door open, nodding to the sitting room. Nare was sitting on the couch shirtless, barefoot and dressed in shorts. He looked more carefree than Noko had ever seen him. Nare stiffened.

“Nare,” Noko said casually, “So, finally…”

“I am using James here, how did you find me?” he asked looking uncomfortably. The other guy looked at them both, then politely chose to give them some space by taking his wine glass from the table. Kissing Nare on the cheek, he smiled a bit at Noko. He had noticed the resemblance when he opened the door. He left the room.

“Do you know how our parents and your wife have been worried sick about you while you were living lavishly here?” Noko demanded, “What do you have to say for yourself?”

“I want all of you to leave me alone to live my life,” Nare muttered getting up from the sofa to move around the room in agitated strides.

“I have been confined in that village, acting like I was okay with everything, while every day I was dying inside just because I wanted to make our parents proud, be the good son, the one they can rely on. But now frankly, I am tired!”

To say that Noko was shocked by his brother’s confession was an understatement. His brother had always been good at pretending, what he thought was his personality was all an act. He stared at him bemused that he started shaking his head in silence, “What do I say to our parents about this because really, they will be shocked by this, are you gay?” Nare shrugged. The stress in his eyes lifted and his grim mouth turned into a smile. For once his smile shon straight from his eyes, although shadows of wariness hung there.

“Yes,” he moved back to the couch to sit down, “And honestly brother, I have never felt quite like myself than I do right now.”

Noko digested Nare’s words quietly as Nare poured him a glass of wine. For the very first time, they were able to converse better than they ever had since they were children.
Noko asked him to at least write a letter to their parents. Ss much as he didn’t want to ask about Boledi he felt compelled to because she was pregnant with his child and he guiltily needed to ask for forgiveness from his brother, if he were to live with himself.

“What will happen to Naledi and Boledi?” he asked, looking away from his brother but the rim of his glass, while his heart dived in his chest, “I mean you have a wife and a child,”

“Oh please, I am not stupid as everyone will like to believe,” Nare said looking affectionately at Noko.

“The girl is in love with you and you – even if you would like to pretend otherwise – you love her and the child as much as I loved it, I know it isn’t mine. So, you take care of them, brother.”

Noko was speechless that he grabbed his drink and gulped it down like a drowning man but choked then started laughing. Nare stared at him weirdly before he joined him and started to laugh.

“So, you say you found him,” his father jumped out of his chair as soon as he walked through the door a week later, “Where is he and why isn’t he with you?”

Noko handed Nare’s letter and he read it. He sat down looking dejected. Noko looked up at Boledi’s small rounded stomach as she walked in and his heart expanded in his chest and his pulse accelerated. The look in her eyes said a lot that it warmed him to the soles of his feet.

He called her the day after he found Nare and told her everything. He asked her not to tell his parents anything, until he came home and told them himself. They spoke often ever since.

“He isn’t going to be coming back home anytime soon, father,” Noko said trying to soften the blow, when his mother and niece walked in. He took his niece in his arms.

“If permission is granted Mma, Pa I will like to make Boledi my wife, legally and mother of my children, if she will?”

Both his parents startled, stared at him in shock then at Boledi. Then they saw the love that shone deep in their eyes as stood in front of each other. Then they both nodded. Boledi also nodded in agreement with tears in eyes and his parents smiled.

“Permission granted, son,” they both said in unison.

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