Looking at Celiwe and me, you would have thought that I had never had problems with her before, but I sometimes did her wrong, and she sometimes did the same thing to me too. It was not intentional though, and the thing that helped us get through it was the fact that we communicated, and we were very vocal with each other. We trusted each other, and we had a healthy relationship. They say you never stop learning about someone, and I learned all the beautiful things about Celiwe every single day.

Soon after our hug, I left Celiwe’s house and, on my way home, I came across this other lady who was fuming. I could tell that she was beyond angry, and it seemed like she had seen her lover with another girl at his regular drinking spot around my area. It also looked like a friend of hers had called her to let her know that her husband was cheating on her, and that moment of weirdness made me meditate on marriage.

While I was meditating, I got a sudden fear of giving my heart to someone who was going to rip it into a million pieces. Questions popped into my mind, and I asked myself what I would do if I got married to someone and, one day, he woke up and decided that he was no longer in love with me. What if I build a home with him and he broke it off just like that, and what if I make memories with him and he decides to up and leave when things get rough in our marriage.

Well, the short scenario I had just seen was traumatic for me, but I still believed that we all deserved love, and we all deserved to love and be loved. When I eventually arrived home, I found Simo watching his favourite cartoons. I smiled at him, then I went to the kitchen to see what my mother was up to. When I got there, I found her doing something mouth-watering.

“Can I help you?” I asked doubtingly.

“No, go upstairs and relax, my love,” my mother replied.

I always knew that asking my mother if I could help her in the kitchen was a waste of time because she never wanted four or six hands in her kitchen. Two hands were just fine for, and I knew I always had to listen her. So, when she said I should go upstairs, I did exactly as she asked, and when I got there, I put on something more elegant than a pair of jeans because, in terms of my fashion sense, I was a very simple person. I would never go overboard or overdo things because simplicity was always key to me, and I needed to display my natural look.

Celiwe arrived at 7pm, and it was just the four of us for dinner: me, my mom, Simo, and Celiwe. After a while, my mother called us to the dining table while Celiwe and I were giggling at one of Simo’s jokes.

When we got to the table, we ate our food while having a warm conversation. Like always, the food was delicious, because my rock did not disappointed in the kitchen, I assure you. She was a great cook, and she had a special way of doing things. She did everything thoroughly, and her skills in the kitchen were profound.

While we were eating, we spoke about my academics, and when I looked at my mother’s academic journey, I got inspired to do better for myself, and for her too, because I knew she had worked very hard for my brother and I to be at the level of life we were at. I thought all of that because I was really grateful.

“Ndalo, I raised you well, and sometimes when I look at you, I see myself,” my mother said after a while. “You remind me of my childhood and the way I used to carry myself in certain situations while growing up. Now you’re entering a new phase of your life, and it’s not going to be easy. But you have to hold on to those hardships because they will shape you. All the scars you have, and all the scars you are still going to get, are a work of art, and we all know that art is beautiful.”

Before continuing, she paused for a while and looked at me with a smile.

“Every movement has its specific meaning,” she continued. “Which is why I say take pride in your troubles, because they make you stronger than you were. You are at a phase in your life where you are independent, and this goes to you too Celiwe, so listen and take notes as well. Travel the world if you have to, create memories and live life to the fullest. But, be smart, take responsibility for your actions, don’t waste money just because you want a whole glamorous life, and use it for a good cause. Spend money wisely, and respect yourselves
enough to notice when things are not worth it in your lives.”

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Tell us: What do you think about Ndalo’s mother’s adavice?