I had been waiting for the day when I would seeing Kemofile again, and I had visualised and played it in my mind for the longest of times. I had personally made scenes in my head of how she would be like after all those years, and in all those scenes, she would beg me to take her back, crawl back into my arms, and plead for my love. She would beg me, explaining things while snot and tears made their way down her face, and while she kissed and hugged my feet, pleading for forgiveness.

Of course, in all those scenes I had made in my mind, I turned her back and showed her no mercy at all. But at that moment when I saw her, I realised that it was stupid of me to think that, and that I was being young and naive.

**********

I was done with school, and I guessed that she was also on the brink of getting done with high school. As a result, all the scenes I had made in my head suddenly made me feel a bit stupid for thinking all of that.

The younger me had not admitted that Kemofiloe had done what she did to me because I pushed her into doing it. I literally pushed her into the arms of another person while I was too busy with all those other girls. Nevertheless, the older and matured me knew that now. The older and matured me admitted to and took half of the blame for everything that Kemofiloe had done. I could not take the other half, though. She had slept with him of her own accord. She felt she needed love, and he provided it.

Kemofiloe felt that Ipeleng was worthy of her whole body, therefore she let him indulge in it with no hesitation. So no, I could not take all the blame.

While I was busy walking beside her, she had a little hand clinging onto her hand. She now had a little boy whom she would bring into every relationship she would get into. Yes, I admitted that I had indirectly and purposely pushed her into that boy’s arms. She found peace and solace with him, which was something I could have never given anyone back then.

Things were now different, though. I knew I was different, and I knew she felt the difference too, as I caught her stealing a glance at me.

***

Tell us: Do you think people are able to change from hurting people they are in relationships with?