“Aye Fungs ‘ntwanas, shayisa ngapha z’thin ngath’usuyan’ dakhela nje,” Chayna called before Fungani could buy anything from the spaza.

“Zthin ispan sikuxinile ntwanas? He said.

“Yeah, yeah sure man,” Fungani replied not interested.

“Unamanga, it’s this boxing nyana yakho awbheke usumabokoboko kanjani. Why is it that you rich boys love to make yourself look like Batista nyana, or are you trying to prove to yourself that you are not a cheese boy after all?” Chayna bluffed.

“Mxm, cut it off dude. Don’t you have any jobs to do? I heard that you found a job at Cambridge Food or somewhere.” Fungani said annoyed.

“Mxm, ujwayela kabi, it’s Check-Out Supermarket not Cambridge!” Chyna said pissed off.

“Whatever dude it’s still the same thing, they are both cheap line stores.” Fungani replied.

“Ay kulungile ntwana. Just because nina nisebenza ezinkampanini zika nokusho, senzosbukela phansi njengeycathulo eygugile!” Chayna said abashed.

“Bheka, I was just being frank dude, there’s no need to take it personally.” Fungani said.

“No it’s okay, kungcono ngoba sengikhulile manje, I don’t let simple things hurt me. I’ve realised that isikhathi aslilindi kwa ndoda. Sometimes in life you have to pick yourself up from the dust and move on. Sometimes life puts you in a dilemma where you have to let go of old things or die holding on to them. Sometimes in life we have to lose something in order to gain something more worthwhile and bigger, you get me?” Chayna said uncertain.

“Wait, wait, now this is impossible. How did you happen to make such a massive growth within a short lapse of time?” Fungani said shocked.

“Uyabona wena Fungs, sometimes in life it is not easy. You, you have to let go of someone you love so that you can make peace because eeh eeh, because they are resting in almighty heaven.” Chyna trembled, not knowing what he was saying.

“I knew it! I knew it.” Fungani snapped.

“Ey wasuba nomsindo ongaka manje, usuyispukupuku yin?” Chayna said.

“No I’m not stupid, in fact you really believe I’m stupid hey? You think I don’t see what’s happening here? My father convinced you to advise me to let go of Thandiwe, didn’t he?” Fungani asked demanding to know.

“No, I don’t know what you are talking about,” Chayna said facing down.

“I see, he wouldn’t ask you to advise me because you are dump, that is why he told you what to say, right?” Fungani pushed.

“Ey wena ntwana, ngiqale nini ukuba umngani ne tayma lako mina?” Chayna said.

“Oh cut it out Chayna, we both know that you are too dumb to say something as mature as that all by yourself. I know my father told you what to say because he is the only one who likes beginning the sentence with “sometimes in life when he advises me. Besides you misinterpreted his words, you were supposed to say ‘sometimes in life it’s not easy to let go of someone you love when they have passed on, but you have to make peace in your heart that they have found rest with the Almighty Father in Heaven so that you can find someone new.” Fungani corrected.

“Ey angisazi ukuthi uthini mina, phela angisiye umlungu mina, engikwaziyo ukuthi angikwazi lokhu okhuluma ngakho mina.” Chayna covered for himself.

“Oh please this all make sense. Why is it that you are trying to convince me to let go of my four-year relationship with Thandi now that my father is talking about finding me another woman to marry!” Fungani said.

“Ay awungyeke wena uzongbhedela, but itayma lakho liqinisile, you must get another wife!” Chayna said.

“Another wife my foot. I didn’t even get a chance to make Thandiwe my first wife. Why the hell will I want another woman to be my wife?! I just don’t know what kind of ignorant woman will come all the way from eMampondweni to marry someone she doesn’t even know. Only a stupid girl will do that!” Fungani shouted.

“Ey bengizsholo mina ungaze ungigwinye wena owabona ingwenya igwinya umuntu, awbheke nje nansi intombi!” Chayna said pointing at a young woman who was buying bread and eggs from the spaza.

“Oh please dude I’m not going to fall for her cheap, pretty face, trouble is written all over her face. I don’t trust any village girl, she might be my next nightmare like that Xhosa girl.” Fungani said.

“Oh Kheman’ dude you didn’t see how the girl looked at you. If you don’t want your father picking up girls for you then be a man and pick one for yourself.” Chayna convinced.

“You know that can’t probably happen right, since I’m a soon to be chief! People from the Royal family marry other people from the Royal family.” Fungani said.

“Oh sori sisi kancane, nangu bhuthi ecela ukukhuluma nawe.” Chyna said calling the girl.

“Awuna nhloni na wena heh, ucinga uk’ba mna ndinga’thetha nalesi sidenge senkwenkwe.” she clicked her tongue and went on moving even faster.

Chayna laughed at the matter. He knew Fungani had bad luck with women since high school, he just didn’t understand how she managed to hook up with his late beautiful girlfriend – Thandiwe, and why she had chosen Fungani over him.

“Ay kanti lo gal is Xhosa, no wonder we don’t get along.” Fungani said.

*****

Tell us: Does Chayna have a right to tell Fungani when to get another girl?