The next morning a bucket of water hit me awake. It was Nthabi. I woke up to them staring at me like I was rotten meat.

“You have three hours to pack your stuff and leave. Divorce papers will be processed and delivered to your workplace,” Nthabi said, pointing me with her long fingers. I was so numb, I didn’t even know what carried me out the bed.

I packed and took my bags to the gate. I was hungry and tired. I sat on the floor and thought of a plan. Nthabi came to close the gate after me. I didn’t have friends or close family. All I had was Melusi. I didn’t want to stress any of my distant family members. I had never had to.

I booked myself into a motel till I figured out what to do next. My phone was now off. Where was I going to charge? I banged on the gate till they both came to open up. The gate was locked because they told me I was causing a scene. I asked Melusi to help me out.

“Could you at least charge my phone or request an Uber for me to the nearest motel?” I was on my knees. He didn’t like it when people caused a scene so he requested for me.

“This is the last favour I will ever do for you,” I was so grateful that he still had a heart in him. The Uber came and dropped me off at the motel. I booked in and settled into the room. By settling in I meant me just lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. I even forgot to charge my phone and the fact that I had to go to work that day.

It was almost two months later. My appetite was back and my clothes were starting to fit me again. I now listened to gospel more. My brother got released and was back at work. I was only drinking on weekends now. I woke feeling better and feeling fresh. That was until divorce papers were dropped off on my table. Wow, Melusi had great timing. Right when I was starting to cope. Right when I was trying to forget about him and his mistress. He had to send back the black cloud over me. Apparently I had up to 60 days to respond. I immediately asked to go home.

I headed to the motel and took some sleeping pills and slept. I didn’t want to feel anything. I didn’t want to think about him or them. I was tired. The sleeping pills knocked me out till the next day. I realised that I took them on an empty stomach. I woke up and ordered some junk food and ate a little. I watched some romantic movies on my laptop.

Melusi and I used to be best friends. I still loved him, but how could he try to get rid of me like that? I guess this baby really meant a lot to him. Maybe I should agree and just sign the divorce papers, I thought to myself. What if I was in the way of Melusi’s happiness? I had lost, there was nothing to fight for. He didn’t love me anymore.

I prayed for him I didn’t want my emotions to be part of my decision making. I wanted to do what was right. I waited till the 60th day. I was going to heal during this period, take care of myself and let go of my newly found bad habits. Days went by so quickly, I was already on day 32. I looked good, I started the gym and it was working for me. I even gained weight in the right places. I prayed more, I stopped drinking and slacking on my work.

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