I got home. Immediately, I ran to the bathroom and closed the door and locked it. Tears were now streaming down my face as I thought about everything that’s gone wrong in my life. I opened the cabinet and took out the blade. Without hesitation I slid down to the floor.

I closed my eyes and thought about the things Lisa told me today.
”You’re useless,” I heard her voice in my head as I slid the blade through my wrist. Blood shot out of the cut. Tears flooded down my face.

“Go die,” Lisa’s voice echoed again in my mind. I immediately cut through my wrist again. I felt pain shoot through my body. I cut again, deeper this time. I started feeling dizzy as I wiped the blood.

“Jackie!” I heard shouting from downstairs and footsteps running up.

“Go away Zayn,” I said as I felt weaker and weaker. I cut my wrist even deeper, suddenly feeling a lot more weak and dizzy.

“Jackie, open the door!” I heard Zayn’s voice as my body got numb.

“Goodbye Zayn. You don’t have to deal with me in your life anymore. I’m out of your life forever,” I told him feeling a lot more breathless.

I had to kill myself. Nobody needed me alive anymore and my life was not worth living anymore. Zayn will never love me, he has the perfect Lisa and I was just a friend he doesn’t need.

“Jackie NO!” he shouted as realisation of what I said hit him.

“Open the door Jackie. Please don’t… don’t do it please,” he pleaded.

I saw the door swing open as he kicked it. And then everything just turned black as my head hit the floor, lying on the blood that was surrounding me.

*****

I opened my eyes and looked at my surroundings. I saw white walls and machines on the side. One was making a beeping sound and it was annoying. My head was sore and punding. I rubbed my eyes, making my view a lot clearer.

“She’s awake,” I heard an Irish voice say and I turned to face Niall along with all the four boys.

I saw Zayn and I immediately remembered what I had done. I wasn’t dead. This isn’t what I wanted. Zayn was still here and he would continue hurting me without realising it. Why didn’t I just die?

“Zayn,” I felt myself say without thinking. What would he think of me now?

“I think we should give them space guys,” Harry murmured, gesturing the boys to follow him out the door.

“Zayn, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I fell in love with you. I’m sorry I don’t just see you as a friend anymore. I’m sorry it hurts every time I see you with another girl and I can’t do anything about it. But most of all, I’m sorry I’m alive.” I ranted with tears already streaming down my cheeks.

“Jackie I –,” he began but I cut him off. I didn’t want to hear him tell me he was sorry about how he loved another girl and not me. I couldn’t handle it.

“No, Zayn. I know what you will say. I don’t need sympathy from you. My feelings will go away as long as you aren’t in my life anymore. So what you need to do is just get out of my life and I’ll get over you. OK?” I told him turning to face him while he sat on the chair.

As soon as I turned around our faces were inches apart. I could feel his breath against my skin, making my body flinch.

His hand stroked my cheek, taking my brown long hair off my face. He continued stroking my cheek making me freeze. He leaned in closing his eyes, making me do the same. I felt his lips touching mine and the electricity that I felt in our first kiss happened again. We continued making out until we were out of breath.

“Zayn I—” I began ready to apologise even though I enjoyed it.

“No let me talk Jackie. Look I was stupid, so stupid I didn’t see you had feelings for me. But let me confess, I love you. I’ve loved you for years and it hurt to see that you didn’t love me back. It hurt so bad to want you when I knew I couldn’t have you. So I dated other girls hoping to forget about you, but that was impossible. My feelings were too strong to just get over.

“That first kiss… God! That kiss was one of the best kisses I’ve ever had. It was filled with love and passion and I could feel that. I love you so much. When I saw you on that floor, my heart broke, thinking I had lost you. But now you’re here. I don’t want you to cut just because of the pain I’m causing you. I promise you I’ll never cause you anymore
pain. Just promise me you’ll never cut again. Jackie, I know you love me and I love you so… will you be my girlfriend?” he ranted, his thick British accent filling the room.

I got up from my bed and hugged him. He pulled me closer, tighter. This hug was different from all the hugs. It had passion, love and chemistry filled in it.

“What about Lisa?” I asked.

“She’s a bitch. I finally saw that now. So is it a yes or a no?” he asked with a worried expression on his beautiful face.

“Yes Zayn. I’ll be your girlfriend. And I promise not to self-harm again. I love you so much.” I confessed, once more kissing him

“I love you too,” he said smiling through the kiss. He pulled away and went to call the boys. They came running to the room.

“So did y’all love birds get together already?” Harry cooed.

“Yes,” Zayn and I said in unison.

“I’m glad,” Louis said grinning at Zayn and making me giggle.

From there on my life was a fairy tale. Yes Zayn and I would fight, but we always seemed to work it out and move on. It’s been a year since that day he confessed his love to me at hospital, after I tried to kill myself.

Now I’m glad I didn’t die because I have the best boyfriend ever and the best friends that I love so much. I couldn’t ask for more.

[The End]

***

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