Life is so unfair, I sing to myself with tears flooding down my face recalling what happened yesterday; it wasn’t supposed to turn into such drama. I didn’t intend for things to end like they did.
What happened was that my mom and I got into a mother, daughter argument which became more than just an argument; we said and did things we both regret.
I was coming back from school so excited that I got a straight A for my Maths test; and standing at the door she greeted, “Is this time to come back home? Where have you been, Mihloti?”
My excitement just got wiped away from my face instantly that I replied, “Oh, sorry mom, I lost track of time.”
“You lost track of time? When you were busy with what? Strolling on your way home with that boy Ntiyiso?”
Wow news travels rapidly in this neighbourhood, I thought to myself.
“What? How do you know this, Ma” I asked her very keen to know who employed themselves for sticking their noses in my business.
“Ma’Gumede,” she replied.
“Why am I not surprised? That woman is alwa…” and before I could say more she cut in.
“Yes, because she cares,”
Oh, please she doesn’t care one bit, she just has nothing to do and what’s better than gossiping? I thought to myself.
“So, missy, care to tell me what you and Ntiyiso got up to that you come back at 17:00?”
“Um… we were,”
“Mihloti, when I tell you to stay away from boys, why don’t you listen? Are you deaf or simply rude?” she cut in before I could explain.
“Answer me!” she shouted.
I was so disappointed in her; how could she believe the township’s worst gossiper?
“But I did nothing wrong, ma.” I answered after I gave her a long look of disbelief.
“You did nothing wrong? So what do you call wandering the neighbourhood with a boy?”
“You say it like it’s a crime ma,” I replied with a calm tone.
“Wativa iyin Mihloti, u taxi kuma lexi u xi lavaku,” You know what Mihloti, you will find what you seek, she said with a rather promising tone.
“You know what, ma? I hate you. I wish you could just die.” I said walking away.
This is where our argument turned into turmoil.
“Come back here,” she shouted, but I had already walked out. She tried to grab me but instead I accidentally slammed her with the door. She fell but I didn’t even see her nor care for that matter.
After slamming the door, I ran as fast as my long legs would let me. And before I knew it I found myself sitting in the bushes. I cried so much that I ended up being tearless.
She was my only family. She wiped away my tears and now she was the reason I cried. She knew how the people of this neighbourhood liked ruining mother, daughter relationships, but she lets them succeed.
If only she knew how hard I was working just to make her proud of me. She would have never ever thought I would be roaming around the streets with boys; Ntiyiso was nothing but my study mate.
After crying I went back home but what I saw was horrifying; she was lying on the floor, unconscious. I didn’t know what to do; I panicked and tried to wake her up.
“Mhani! Pfukani mhani! Mommy! Wake up mommy!” I said shaking her so hard, but nothing happened. She didn’t wake up. Oh God, what have I done? I asked myself.
Finally I reached out for my phone and called the ambulance.
“Um… I need an… an ambulance. Some… someone is hurt and… and she’s not breathing. Plea… please come quickly,” I said shivering.
“Calm down, where must we come?” asked the man on the phone.
“At Freedom Park ex… extension 22… no I mean extension 32, house number 4917.”
After a long two hours of waiting the ambulance came and they took her. She was in a horrible condition; she still wasn’t breathing.
I had to sleep alone that night and I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
It’s all my fault, if it weren’t for me she would still be here but she’s in a place full of sick and dying people. What have I done? What was I thinking?
God knows I didn’t mean for her to be hurt. I know I said I wish she could die but I was upset, I didn’t mean any of that. It was a mistake.
***
Lets’ chat: What’s the worst thing you’ve said to your parent and wished you could take back?