Hi, my name is Khensani Bulawayo. I am a 16 year old girl doing Grade 10. I am dark in complexion, short in height. I am neither thin nor fat, but just a normal sized girl. To me being beautiful does not merely mean your appearance and the way you are dressed, but it means being well mannered and having self-respect. So according to me, I’m the most beautiful girl you can think of.

I don’t have friends because I’m a boring nerd who detains herself from earthly possessions. I have weaknesses like all people; I’m impatient and cannot keep secrets! If they are exciting I get carried away and tell them. And if they are sad, rather than letting them hurt me alone inside, I just feel the need to share them.

My family is unstable, financially and socially, due to the inconsiderate decisions my parents made in their life. My father sold weed at school. Back then corporal punishment was applied to anyone who did anything illegal at school and my dad was a coward. But instead of quitting his drug smuggling at school and moving on, my father decided to drop out of school so he can carry on with his illegal business.

Three years later his father died and left money for my dad to go back to school. But he gave his brother power of attorney over all his things. There was a tender my grandfather was busy with; a plan to improve the community and when he died his brother took it on. My dad was given some money from the will since he was over eighteen. But because my father was stubborn, he used the money he had carelessly.

He used it to participate more in illegal dealings, rather than going back to school. At the same time his girlfriend, my mother, fell pregnant with me. So she also had to drop out of school so as to look after me properly. But a year after my mother gave birth she refused to go back to school.

She relied on my father’s money which he got illegally. But not long after my birth, all his money went down the drain.

When all my father’s assets were gone he became desperate. He tried ways to remove his uncle from being in charge of the tender. He tried by all means to destroy his uncle’s reputation and to get the board to distrust him. He convinced the board that his father’s brother was selfish and was in this tender for the wrong motives.

He opposed all his uncle’s ideas. His uncle wanted to pave the land with concrete so that there will be a flat surface for people and vehicles to pass through. But my father opposed it. He said they must focus on building the community houses rather than paving the road.

“What about those people who don’t have cars? What do they need the road for?” my father had asked the board. “It’s not fair to build the road for those so-called superior people, while inferior people live in falling shelters!” My father had said vigorously.

He knew the exact words to say to deceive the board.

“But you are not educated, how can you develop the community while you are undeveloped yourself?” his uncle had argued.

“Regardless my education, this is my father’s tender. And I have a right to have a say in it as I am his only son. My father made the wrong decision by involving you in this tender. I am the one who was supposed be involved as his heir. Not you!” my father argued back. “Besides, I’m the one who grew up in this community, so I know what we, people of this community, need!”

And that was the speech that worn the board for him. His uncle was removed from the chair and my father was placed in it.

The thing about my father is that he always knows just the right words to say, but fails to live up to them.

When my father took over the tender, he was convincing and confident. But he refused to work together with the board. It was then suggested that he must at least hire a personal assistant as he was unable to read and write. But again, he refused angrily and assured the board that he would manage to develop the community by himself.

“Leadership runs through the Bulawayo’s blood, not through education,” he would say. He even demanded the community to contribute some amount of money to invest in the tender. But he ended up using the money for his own purposes and desires.

Months and years passed without my father contributing any change in the community. He reasoned to the people that he was still sorting out his investments. But the people were unaware that my father was scamming them and the money that the people contributed was the reason for my family’s riches.

Rumors spread and the board was starting to be suspicious. They investigated the matter and realized that my father was indeed corrupt. That called for immediate removal. And due to my father’s much debt, all his possessions and money was taken by the bank.

That is why we are living in this small, tin shack with no windows, no water and no electricity. We don’t even have a kitchen or bathroom. It was just one open space and everything was done in it. But we separated it into two bedrooms and an open kitchen and sitting room.

I’d like to think I am nothing like my father. For one, I love school, I live for school. And I would never abandon my education for money. And then there’s the fact that I can’t tell a lie or keep a secret. I wonder sometimes if he truly is my father. But then my mother is so in love and loyal to him and I know she would never do that.

She told me these stories. And the worst part is that she tells them with pride. My father’s devious ways are an accomplishment to her.

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Tell us: Have your parents done anything that you were not proud of? How did you deal with it?