***My Voice***

Five days went by, and I kept thinking that Ms Jane was going to come and apologize. But I knew that it was going to be a miracle if she did. To them, life was as perfect as honey. They carried on with their play, and I was not included, I was like a ghost to them.

“Odd” was my new name at school. Most of my classmates called me by that name, and even though emotionally I was breaking down, physically I was strong. Well, I made myself look strong. I could not stay like that forever, though. I had to speak up, and it was time for me to stand up for what was right!

During lunch time at school, I called Lesedi. She was also one of the other black students at Collin Secondary School, and so was Kagiso, who was the first black male student at Collin Secondary School. We sat under the big tree near the school office, because there was a lot of privacy there.

“Saubona, Lesedi and Kagiso,” I said with a courteous voice.

They both responded with a jubilant spirit, however, I could tell that they were curious about why I brought them here, so there was no time for me to beat around the bush.

“Well, you both know the treatment we’re getting from this school, and I’m sure none of you enjoys it,” I said with a valiant face. “So … I want you guys to be part of my movement: The Voice Movement! I want us to address the issues we’re facing here in school, things like being called an odd person, and not being allowed to partake in some school events because of the colour of our skin. I think it’s time for us to speak up. You’re both in Grade 12, so do you want to leave this school without fighting for what is right, or do you want to leave this school knowing that you stood up for the truth?”

“Uhm, Thandeka, I love it, but I just don’t want to get in trouble,” Lesedi said.

“Get in trouble for speaking up?” I asked with a dispirited voice.

“Yeah, you can be suspended or even expelled, so how about you just leave everything and carry on with life? I know we’re enduring this bad treatment, but life goes on. On top of that, you’re a girl, so who’s going to listen? Well, no one,” Kagiso said while standing up.

I was shocked at hearing their responses. I was not expecting that from them, I had thought that we were going to be united and be one.

**********

Back at home, I was having quality time with Gogo Sophie. She was teaching me how to knit a scarf, and I was making a lot of mistakes because it was my first time. Gogo Sophie was nailing it though, and she was like Albert Einstein with his theories and equations. I, on the other hand, was enjoying the privilege of her presence. She was a phenomenal and strong woman. She was, and still is, giving me the tender love after my mother, mama Thembi, passed away.

There were days when I wished my father could be here to see the independent and smart young lady I had grown up to become. All I knew about him was that he had gone to the city to look for a job, and they never heard from him ever since.

“Thandeka?” Gogo Sophie said while knitting. “Please go buy more wool.”

I quickly got up from the blue carpet and took the money which was going to be needed for me to buy the wool. On my way to the mini Tuckshop, I met Ms Ntobeko, who had been my teacher in primary school. We shared a great connection back then, and her physical appearance was always the same. She always had on long braids, skirts with geometric designs, and not to forget her red chic sunglasses.

After meeting Ms Ntobeko, she and I exchanged greetings. She could not believe that I was attending secondary education at a private school. Well, she was very excited and happy about it, and her excitement could definitely save mother Earth from the dangers of climate change. But, my mood went down as soon as she asked me about how it was in a private school, and I had to tell her the truth.

“The problems that I had in primary school are still here with me,” I said with my head facing on the ground.

“What do you mean, Thandeka?” Ms Ntobeko asked, showing worry because of my dispirited answer.

“Primary School was tough,” I responded. “Whenever I won, got awards, or got liked by teachers, it was said that it was because of my “fair skin”, even though I worked hard for those things. I would sometimes even get messages on my phone about how my skin colour differs from the rest of the other girls in school, and they made me feel like I did not belong anywhere. I thought we were all Africans, but, unfortunately, there is a division between us because of the colours of our skins.”

I paused for a while, allowing her to take in the information.

“Now in high school, it’s racism,” I continued with tears rolling down my face. “I’m now called an odd person, and I’m not allowed to participate in any school events because of my race. What must I do? I spoke to the other two black students in my school, and I told them that we should stand up and fight, but they were scared because they were going to get in trouble. It’s so hard!”

“Oh, Thandeka, you must fight for what is right, my child, even if it means being a sole trader,” Ms Ntobeko said. “Don’t be scared, and be a woman of power, strength, and voice. Fight with your heels on, fight with your big beautiful afro, and fight with your skirt on. Show the world that you, as a woman, can tackle colourism and racism. Do it for every girl and boy child who is going to attend his/her secondary education at a private school filled with racism, and show them that they can walk into that school with pride and dignity.”

While Ms Ntobeko was speaking, her words inspired and motivated me. She was correct. I had to show the world that the spirit of my female ancestors are within me, and if no one was ready to end colourism and racism, then I would. When she was done speaking, she gave me a hug, and I could definitely sense her feminine fragrance. I felt at ease in her arms, and a hug from another woman gave me strength and power.

**********

“Uhm Gogo, on my way to the shop, I met my primary school teacher, Ms Ntobeko,” I said to Gogo as soon as I got home.

“No wonder you took so long to come back,” Gogo Sophie said with a smile.

“Oh, Gogo,” I said laughing. “I told her about high school, and uhm, let me just start cooking, otherwise we’ll never eat today,” I continued while looking at Gogo Sophie.

I did not want to stress Gogo about everything because, that day, she seemed very happy. So, if I told her about what Kagiso and Lesedi had said to me, it was going to worry her, and I did not want that to happen to my grandmother. I had to fight my own battles. That day, I cooked my favourite dish: pilchards and steamed pap. To me, that was a privilege, so I took out the pots and began cooking. Our cooking stove was not a four plate stove, though. Rather, it was a two plate stove. So, in order for me to cook, I had to kneel down, but I enjoyed cooking nonetheless.

***

Tell us: What advice would you give someone who was facing the same situations that Thandeka is facing?