Fast forward to three years later.

I got my degree and I was officially a lawyer. I had finally reached my goal and I was actually pretty good at it. Kyle was with me through everything and I appreciated him for that and so much more.

Reality struck for me on my 26th birthday when Kyle proposed to me in front of my friends and family. Everything literally froze and it was as though I didn’t know where I was.

Memories of Kim and me flashed through my head and all I remember is running out of there as fast as I could. I headed to the office where I located Kim’s current whereabouts and booked an early morning flight to Johannesburg. I sat at the airport the entire night, just to avoid anyone coming to my apartment to find out what had happened. I got on the flight and it felt like Deja-vu. Only this time I was older and wiser and my only goal was to have Kim for the rest of my life.

Arriving at her front porch I had nothing to say but that I loved her. I knocked on the door and she opened up. I smiled, she cried and hugged me. We went inside without saying anything and all around her house were photos of us back in the day. I took her hands and told her that I loved her.

Suddenly, I noticed that she had a ring on her ring-finger and my heart dropped as I swallowed regret. Not regret for arriving there, but realising that I was too late. Tears fell from my eyes and she realised what was going on. She kissed me and told me that she always believed she was married to me and that explained the ring.

I went down on one knee and proposed to her with a ring that I had bought two years before. I had noticed that it looked exactly like the one she had wanted back in the day. She smiled and told me to spend the weekend with her. She seemed different somehow. Weak or possibly calm? I couldn’t tell, but I told her that I would do whatever she wanted to do.

I put the ring on her finger. We went out and bought all of our favourite snacks and food. We rented our favourite movies and played our favourite games. We didn’t talk about the future or the past but just enjoyed the moment. Later, we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

The entire weekend we never left the house and we were okay with it. It was just like old times in my small house 20 minutes away. On the Monday morning I went out to get us latte’s and when I came back, found Kim passed out on the floor. I rushed her to the ER but unfortunately it was too late, she had died. It was discovered that Kim had had a tumour on her brain which could have taken her life at any given moment. That is exactly what happened.

It felt like I was losing my mind and I didn’t know what to do. Her parents arrived from Pretoria, where she was originally from, and took her body home. I sat at the airport for the entire day, just having the world pass me. I heard nothing, I felt nothing and I saw nothing. My brain was a blur and could not process what had happened.

I called Kyle and he got on a flight as soon as he could. He found me sitting there, lost in my own world. I told him what had happened.

He wasn’t angry. He just hugged me as I broke down. We went home. I mourned alone for two weeks, just sitting in my room, crying. I realised that I had wasted so many years figuring stuff out, that the chance to live had passed me by. I had loved her in silence and that was selfish of me. I should have never seen us as different, just as love. I had lost the person I truly loved and, because I knew how it felt, I wasn’t going to allow it to happen to Kyle as well. I said yes, I would marry him and I did. He knew I would never love him romantically but I would love him forever, as my best friend.

The End

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