When Chris was sentenced to life in prison for attempted murder, I felt some form of relief. I decided to sell my house and got a new house in my dream location to start afresh – deservingly so. I purchased a new estate house to ensure I was in a secure space and bought myself a new car just for control. I then had a makeover to bring life to the new me. Signing up for gym and becoming a part-time performer was just part of the package. I had to face my demons. Though. by regularly seeing a psychologist to ensure I was okay emotionally. Luckily, I could afford it.

After a dreadful court case with Chris, I was happy I was at least physically detached from him. The battle I had at hand was my spiritual attachment to him. I continuously prayed to get rid of this attachment because I wanted him out of my life in every way.

Sphe came over to my new home and we spoke about his life in America. He told me about it all, wangichazela nangezinkinga abhekana nazo (he told me about the problems he was facing) while he was there. He told me I was on his mind the entire time and he couldn’t help but think of me when he had played music from back home because it was the only thing that reminded him of me, the only thing that made sense to him in that crazy world. I wondered why he had come back to Durban and he mentioned that there is no place like home and yena besesikhathele isingisi (he was already tired of English). I burst out laughing because I thought uSphe besehlulwa isingisi waze wakhetha ukubuyela kwelakubo (Sphe couldn’t handle English so he decided to come home). He pleaded with me to laugh no more because he just missed home and was seriously unashamed of that fact.

I was glad he listened to himself because, if he didn’t, I might have never seen him again. Or even worse, I might have spent the rest of my life with satan himself, Chris. Yasho yangena ingoma yethu (our song had started) by sculptured music titled “Speak Lord”. Tjo, I don’t remember dancing so much in the house and having so much fun while I was at it. When the vocalist of the song said, “Oh sweet Lord, speak to me,” I felt goosebumps all over my body as I sang along. Music really did have its way of helping me heal. Maybe it was the best way I knew to get through life.

Sphe and I danced and laughed while we enjoyed the music that was playing on the radio. When our all-time favorite song came on, we said, simultaneously, “Noooo waaay!”

Hollis P’s “Good Bye” really was a hit back in the day, and in a way I related to the song. I know what you’re thinking: everyone relates to a song when they have an emotional ailment. I agree, however, I did genuinely feel that I related to the song, especially when the vocalist sang, “Goodbye bye bye bye bye bye bye.” I felt myself letting go of all the pain I had lived through in my life and I was glad Chris was out of my life for good. I felt so alive and free and I wouldn’t trade that feeling for the world. Life passed me by, so much precious time wasted and invested in the wrong person. I remembered how much of a queen I was and how long a way to go I had ahead of me.

Our good friends came to join us and we decided to head straight to the club. We walked in with a heck of a good vibe, and trust me, there is no better feeling than clubbing as a single woman with no abusive boyfriend waiting for you at home. I danced so much and all eyes were on me. I must say my friends were hype masters as they all screamed when I started showing them that I still had moves.

This really was a day of throwbacks as my jam by DJ Sbu, “For A Reason” was played at the club. I felt tears running down my face. I’m not certain if they were real tears of joy or if I was just drunk and happy. I remember how the entire club screamed, “Everything happens for a reason!” in a way that hit home and made me feel so much better for everything I had been through. At that point I knew better than to live in someone else’s shadow and I vowed to myself there and then to never give my life to anyone, and to live my life to the very fullest. Everything does happen for a reason, it’s up to you to decide whether it’s a good one or not, but best believe that what I took from the experience was that it’s always a good reason, despite the brutality.

Tell us: What are some of the things that you do to move on from bad events?