I don’t know how long I was sitting like that, thinking how I could’ve done things differently, how I wish I could have waited.

“Lwandle?” my mother calls out to me with a low voice. “What’s wrong my love?” she asks kneeling down in front of me.

When her eyes lands on the pregnancy test kit on the other side of the floor her face is filled with disappointment and shame.

“Ukhulelwe? (You are pregnant?)” And just like that her tears fall making my heartbreak all over again.

After we calmed down from all the crying, we sat in the lounge where we ate our takeaways in silence.

“Who’s the father?”

I swallow hard before I look at my plate, “Thami Langa.”

“Does he know that you are pregnant?”

I slowly shake my head, “He doesn’t care about me.”

When I lift up my head I find my mother shaking her head. “What did I always say to you?” she asks with her voice raising.

“I told you to focus on your books and forget about boys. I told you time and time again that your time will come, you just have to focus on your books and yourself.”

“You disappointed me,” she turns to look at the television.

My heart breaks even more knowing that I disappointed the one person who I always wanted to see happy and now I brought her the worst heartache. I am now a single mother who will have to drop out of school to look after the baby. If only love was easy, maybe I wouldn’t be facing this situation. I disappointed not only my mother, but also myself.

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