The following morning, I woke up early, made my bed, brushed my teeth, and then went to make breakfast. My father did not come to eat, though, so I took his food to him. When I got to his room, I found him reading the Bible. I then offered him then food, but he said he was not hungry. Things were tense, so I knew that I had to ease the tension.

“I will do it. If it makes you happy, I will marry Sipho for your sake,” I said.

My father smiled at me when he heard those words. It was the first time he had smiled since my mother’s funeral, and he even ate his food. He was cheerful the entire day after that. He was singing hymns, and he even did the dishes, imagine. I, on the other hand, had to put on a brave face for him, even though I knew I was dying inside.

After two weeks, Sipho’s uncles came to pay the brides price, and they set a date for the wedding. You would swear my father was chasing me away from home. My aunts were the ones organising everything. Can you believe it? Some people really had a nerve out there.

The wedding was a month away, but I could not stop thinking about Alicia, so I decided to invite her to the wedding. I then wrote her a letter using her old address. I was sceptical it would work, but it was worth a try. In the letter, I asked her to be my maid of honour.

Weeks went by without me hearing anything from her, and I eventually gave up.

The wedding was on April 24, and it was going to be my first time seeing Sipho since the lobola negotiations. He was not allowed to see me until the wedding. Everyone was there, including my aunts, uncles, cousins, and my brothers, but they never came to see me. Kat had send a message earlier that day, telling me how my mother would be disappointed in me and my father for forcing me to marry someone I did not love, just to save his skin. His message tore me to pieces. I tried calling them, but they never answered. That was when I realised they did not have my back.

When nothing changed, I continued doing my face, and that was when someone walked in. It was someone I never thought I would ever see again. It was Alicia, and I thought my eyes were deceiving me when I saw her.

“You look like you could use some help,” she said, teary eyed.

“I thought you were not coming, but I am glad you did,” I responded, and then hurried to hug her.

“I almost did not,” she said. “My mother found your letter and decided to keep it from me, but I found it two days ago in her drawer. I then decided to come, and she does not even know that I am here.” She paused. “So, you are really getting hitched, hey!” she continued. “But why, Nnana? Why are you doing this to yourself? What about your life and your happiness? Will you live your whole life pleasing people?”

All of Alicia’s questions confused me even more at the time, but she soon left the room, and seeing her leave was the toughest thing I had ever had to face. I felt like I was losing her all over again, but she then turned around, looked straight into my eyes, and said words that filled the void in my heart.

“I still love you, Nnana!” she said. “I always have, and always will, but I cannot dictate your life, so just follow your heart.”

I wanted to cry when she said those words, but I could not bring myself to do it. She then stormed out as Sipho walked in. “Wow, you look amazing, even with those tears in your eyes,” he said. “Riri, you do not have to do this, you know. I overheard you and your friend talking, and she is right. Do what is right for you,” he said, and then gave me a peace sign.

“She is not just my friend, she is the love of my life, my soulmate,” I responded, and I felt complete as I uttered those words. All the doubts were erased after I said those words, and I felt like a huge burden had been lifted off my shoulders. “Yes I am a lesbian, and that is why my father is forcing me to marry you. He is ashamed of me,” I explained.

“There is no need for you to explain or apologise,” he responded. “Go and get your woman before you lose her again, and that is an order!”

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