I got back to Khaya and got in his car and we went to his house. When we got there we started kissing and one thing led to another. I insisted to him that we use a condom but he said no, he was going to be extra careful. I believed him because I didn’t want to lose him. I trusted him because I thought everything he told me was authentic.

We woke up later that morning around 11 a.m. I was feeling like I had been smashed by a train; my head was spinning, my body was sore and I was so dehydrated. He drove me to my house. We exchanged numbers and he told me he was going to call me. I got into the house, drank a lot of water and spent the whole day in bed.

The next day Sphokie and Linda came to my house. They were very excited about the party and how it had ended up. Sphokie told me she went home with the guy that she was kissing and they had fun. Linda waited for Muzi and the party to end before they went. I told them that I went home with Khaya and we were now an item.

They were so excited; they wanted the full details and I told them everything that had happened.

Khaya called me later that day, telling me how much he missed me. I said I missed him too and he came over and he slept over. So this went on for three months. After three months I noticed that things had started to change with my sleeping sequences. I spent most of my time sleeping and eating. I became sensitive and short tempered; I couldn’t take a joke anymore. My complexion started to become lighter and I was gaining weight very fast.

I decided to go to the pharmacy at Gugs mall to get myself a pregnancy test. I tested and the results came positive. I just broke down and cried. I didn’t cry because I was scared; I cried because I knew I had disappointed the only person that put a lot of trust in me and that was my mom.

A lot of things came to mind: I was going to be a disgrace at school; I was going to put my mom to shame. At that moment it felt like the only way out was if I slit my wrists. But then again I thought of my mom’s health; she was diagnosed with diabetes and high blood pressure at the same time. She would often complain about how she would just feel dizzy out of the blue.

I decided to wait for her to come back from work to tell her the bad news.

In the meantime I decided to break these new to the man responsible. I called him and told him over the phone. “Okay, so uzokwenza njani?” (So what are you gonna do?) That made me furious. He was the one responsible, how could he ask me such a dumb question? From that day on I decided to not to go back to school the next year. I was going to end up having to leave in the middle of the year anyway.

So when mom came back that Friday, I made her coffee and told her I had bad news. She asked me what was wrong and I told her I was pregnant. She never replied. A tear just fell out of her eyes. I apologised and told her that I know that I had disappointed. She said, “Kulungile mntanam, ungumntana soze ndikulahle,” (it’s alright my child, you’re my child and I won’t leave you.) From then on I spent the rest of my pregnancy days trying to gain my mom’s confidence and trust.