I lived with my mom in a flat in Hillbrow, at the Cnr. Twist & Pietersen streets. It was nothing fancy, just a bedroom, lounge, kitchen and bathroom. It wasn’t overlooking anything interesting, just the other flats in the surrounds. We lived on the 8th floor but if you stood on the 11th floor you could glance into Johannesburg.

You could see the Soccer City Stadium surrounded by beautiful landscapes – garages, parks, moving cars on the freeways. Then when you viewed it from the other direction, still on 11th floor, you saw the tall, round flat with the red Vodacom logo on top.

Hillbrow was dirty and we were victims of carbon monoxide – plus the crime too!

I spent most of my time indoors listening to music, Sia, most of the times. Man! I love that woman, I find her music healing. Sometimes I would listen to Lira, Born Free, or I would just read books. On my laptop, I had collections of Sifiso Mtshali’s writings, otherwise I’d be watching movies. I am a fan of animation. There’s something about this type of a genre that I love, the dialogue is great, and the scriptwriters are damn good.

Mom would always say that animations are for children but I disagree. When we watched The Secret Life Of Pets, my little bro couldn’t even tell that the white dog was crushing on Max, and Chloe the cat had tough love for Max.

I did not have many friends in the city, that’s why you would always find me indoors. It was boring, but I eventually got used to it. If I was not at school, I went for a meeting somewhere in the CBD at those government department offices. I was always having meetings because I prefer meeting in person than calling or emailing. Most of the security guards already know me and I would come back to meet with a different person the following day.

Within all this, finding a companion was never on the to-do list. Having a girlfriend is like adding an extra module to your semester, those things can be a headache.

My mother’s health started getting bad. I knew she was on medication and went for check-ups once, if not twice, a month. I wanted to know what she was suffering from but the distance between us did not make it easy. But she was my mother and I had to find out either way.

I could not bear the pain of witnessing the only rose in my life getting dryer and dryer, its petals falling off and withering. I found out she had sugar diabetes and high blood pressure as well. I could always see one of her prescriptions written Insulin, which is meant to keep the body’s sugar levels stable.

It sunk in that I had to man up and grow a thick skin. Slowly but surely, death was creeping at my dear mother’s doorstep. But like a mouse, it bit and tried to blow in order for the pain not to be severe.

The whole situation shifted my focus from my academics and other things I was busy with. I had to be there for her, she needed me. Everything else in the world could wait. I didn’t tell my lil’ bro, or anyone in the family. He was only 10, it this would not affect him that much. I didn’t know if my mom had told people and I was the only one to find out late. But that didn’t matter, what mattered was that I found out eventually and I had to do something.

I was panicking. I did not look at my dear mother the same way anymore. Every time I glanced at her I saw her getting weaker and weaker. Her flesh was slowly detaching from her soul and I saw pain and tears behind her innocent bright smile. She was all I have. If I lost her my world would be a place with no glittering stars, shining moon, oxygen or sun.

***

Tell us: How does the mom’s health make you feel?