In the morning Lulu prepared Sihle’s breakfast.
“Morning,” said Samson, kissing her on the cheek.
“Morning.”
“I want breakfast too.”
“Okay, but there’s no sugar. I used the last in Sihle’s tea.”
He opened the cabinet, “No teabags too?”
“I told you yesterday that we’re running out of groceries and the chicken I’m going to cook tonight, it’s the last one, tomorrow we’ll eat soup.”
“But I gave you a thousand rands to take care of everything, where’s the rest of it?”
“Oh Samson, why behave as if you don’t know how many costs we’re supposed to take care of? Our expenses increase every day. Sihle needs to carry money to school. We buy electricity, water, groceries, cosmetics and he needs a new uniform. How much is left after that? I don’t even know how much you get paid and then spend on drinking.”
“I always tell you, working as a bricklayer isn’t like working in the mines. You get paid depending on the kind of job you’re doing and how long it takes at that particular time. Things always get better as time goes on,” Samson explained.
Lulu sighed and said, “Better if you quit drinking, oh my gosh. If only you didn’t give me a child I could’ve completed my matric and by now I wouldn’t face any problems. To make matters worse you get retrenched and start drinking when you no longer earn any money, it’s total abuse. It’s because of irresponsible fathers like you that parents end up hating their children.”
“So it’s my fault? I’ve never touched you ever since we met but you’re saying I’m abusing you.”
“Physical abuse isn’t the only abuse. We are beings with emotions and having those emotions tormented every day is like having your heart struck by a blade; you bleed every day, but it never stops getting deeper.”
“I’m moving out in a day or two.”
“Excuse me!?” Lulu asked, stunned.
“I said I’m leaving, I’m tired of this place.”
“But you just got home, where are we going?”
“No, I’m going alone.”
“What about us, your son?”
“You’ll go to your father’s.”
“So you want a divorce?”
“No! No. I just think we should spend some time away from each other. Lulu, listen, ever since I lost Siya, I lost myself too; I didn’t even go to her burial. What kind of a father does that?”
“Samson, we all lost her, don’t take all of this by yourself.”
“I’ve turned into a weak man to everyone in this place; I barely feel free walking out in the streets. Everyone’s eyes keep killing me every day, some are even brave enough to tell me face-to-face that I’m a useless father.”
“People always talk, they’re there to destroy everyone’s lives. But you have us, please, don’t go. We need you, I need you. What would we be without you, my love?”
“A better family.”
“But we are a happy family, we’ve achieved everything many couples fail to.”
“But one of our achievements perished.”
“I’m sorry, but we can try to have another baby.”
“That’s the problem, I don’t want to. I can’t replace Siya. She was perfect.”
“I’m nothing without you, Samson,” Lulu said.
“I’m going to Mpumalanga,” Samson said.
***
Tell us: Why do you think Samson is going to Mpumalanga?