Bingo!!! She screams.
Her mum and dad come in the room.
“Lerato what are you doing?”
“I found her diary ma. It’s the only thing that can tell us what’s going in Charity’s mind. I know it’s wrong to read her private thoughts but…”
“Lerato you know things are tense between you and your sister. Do you really want to make it worse?” before Lerato can answer her dad, her mother interjects.
“I have tried everything with that girl. Her behaviour is getting worse and worse. Do not worry about worsening tension rather her worsening behaviour.”
Worried about Charity coming back, Lerato hurryingly skims through the diary. She stops and suddenly drops the book on the floor and bursts into a fit of sobs.
“Lerato what is wrong? Is she pregnant? No maybe its drugs. Lerato answer me is it nyaope?” her mother screams.
Lerato says nothing, she remains frozen as if paralyzed from the neck down. Her mum and dad pick up the book and their eyes immediately make contact with the passage she was reading.
“Aww Nkosi yam, my God! my poor baby,” her mother runs up and down the hall way with her hands on her head.
“How could he? She’s my baby.”
“Heavens no it’s not possible, it can’t be. He’s my family, my blood, my spiritual advisor.”
Her dad doesn’t say a thing. He grabs his wife and they get in the car, leaving Lerato as she was.
***
I walk in my room only to find my sister having cried herself to sleep, with my diary at her side. My mind seizes to function. I pace up and down my room, scared to wake Lerato up.
What has she done? Why would she read my diary? I had hidden it so well. What does all this mean?
I feel like church all over again. Like my body is refusing to take in the abundant oxygen in the air. The room is now spinning, hands won’t stop sweating and my knees just won’t stop shaking. Lerato is woken up by my pacing. She runs towards me and gives me a tender embrace. She manages to muffle out sounds through her tears.
“I’m so sorry Charity, I’m so sorry I’ve been such as bad sister. I’m so sorry… I read it over and over again. I couldn’t stop until I felt as if I felt just half of the pain you felt”
Instead of saying a word I sit on the floor, ask her to sit next to me and lay her head on my head. We remain like that for a while and before we know it, the darkness had spread, consoling the sun and bringing forth the moon and the stars. Lerato offers to warm my food but I tell her that I’ve no appetite. So she opts for making me a nice cup of rooibos tea. And just as we begin drinking our tea, our parents walk in with the police.
My father begins to explain how they went to Uncle Tom’s after reading my diary. My father had confronted him and he had denied the allegations until my aunt Nelly stepped in.
“If your daughter says Tom raped her I believe her.”
“Nelly, how could you say that you’re my wife?”
“Because she’s not the first isn’t that right, Tom? You see another girl from our congregation came to me. She told me that my husband had raped her but being a loyal and loving fool I believed my husband when he told me that the girl was lying. He told me the girl wanted him to marry her but got angry and jealous when he told her he already had a wife. Now I know that she was telling the truth and to think I chased her away from the congregation.”
My dad further tells us that Aunt Nelly gave Uncle Tom an ultimatum. Confess or have all your skeletons laid out in front of the whole congregation. My father goes on to say that the notorious pastor Tom was now in jail with the help of his confession and the testimony of some other girl. Now what was missing was a statement from me. I gave the statement hoping that it will be the last time I have to play this song on repeat.
The next day I awake to a tasty breakfast in bed and find my clothes all packed. My sister flashes a mischievous smile and jumps into bed with me, my parents try to squeeze themselves in almost spilling my glass of OJ. We laugh and laugh. It feels good to feel their warmth against my body, it had been too long.
I ask about the packed bags I see before me. Lerato pulls a serious face and tells me that they’re sending me to leave in the bundu’s with my Granma. I leap out of bed with face full of confusion and anger at the same time. They continue to laugh until my dad tells me that Lerato is pulling my leg.
“Your sister felt that we needed some family bonding time. So she told us that instead of going ahead with the party we should rather drive down to the Kruger to have some good old fashion family fun.”
As we embark on our journey I think about how supportive and understanding my family’s been. They didn’t doubt me like Uncle Tom said. I wish I had gone to them sooner. I wish I realised sooner that the boundaries I made didn’t only keep people out, but that they also fenced me in, and made me a prisoner of my own thoughts.
But now I’m wiser now that’s why I think I’ll be a good social worker one day. I hope I’ll be able to help girls in my situations or help girls avoid situations like mine. But till then let me just enjoy being with my family.
Xoxo
The End
***
Tell us: What do you think is the major reason that kids keep quiet when they’ve been abused? Would you tell? Do you think your family would believe you if it was a relative or a family trusted friend?