My name is Faith Abara, aka Slender. I am a South African Nigerian. Yes, that’s how I like to explain it to anyone who dares question my ethnicity.

I may not possess my Nigerian accent, but my dark skin glows and screams Nigerian—and that I am so proud of. I see myself as a world-renowned beauty queen, doing my catwalk while everyone gets hypnotized by my glowing, beautiful skin.

Arrg! But that was just a dream, which will fade away as soon as my parents get to know the whole truth—my bitter truth. Here’s a peek through my turbulent life.

I hate mornings! Today, I felt like sleeping in—if only Mom would just let me. I mean, I’m a woman now. I even have my hips, breasts, and weirdly my stomach showing too. To her, I guess I’m still a little baby who still needs to be nagged every single time.

“Slepere, two slice, Slender never get tired, downtown baby girl?” That’s the irritating sound of taxi drivers at the rank every damn morning. They never forget to embarrass you in front of everyone.

I mean, before, I didn’t mind being the center of attention. I mean, these days, I am kinda hot, honey, and glowing in my mini school skirt. But it feels weird and unsettling when older men stare at my thighs. I just feel like pulling down my skirt to my ankles. I sometimes even read their disgusting thoughts written all over their facial expressions.

One would wonder how I would do modeling in a bikini when I fear wandering eyes? I’m not even sure after the gala dinner event.

This is how it all started.

“Chommie, did you see in the school’s WhatsApp group? The auditions for the modeling comp 2024 are now open. Dark or blue gal, this is your year!” said Thandi as she literally screamed it into my ears. She’s so damn loud, but I love it.

Anyways, meet Thandi, aka “Vanilla,” my bubbly, beautiful, yellow-bone of a friend. She is so bubbly, she had to give herself a nickname—Vanilla. LOL, the meaning behind Vanilla would actually make you LOL too.

Unfortunately for me, there was no dark or blue. Mom wouldn’t have allowed me as usual. At first, I thought, what’s the point of even looking at the app’s post?

“You have been obeying your mother for too long, chommie. You’re missing out on the opportunity of being the Queen of SANDERFORD HIGH! Phela, chommie, you are more of everything compared to Sarah. Besides, chommie, you have brains, unlike Miss Beauty-Without-Brains over there with the crown,” Thandi said as we watched Sarah walk around with a group of girls following her like headless chickens.

Thandi’s words brought up another side of me—the fight-for-your-dream kind of side. I thought maybe this year I should gather courage and join. Obviously, I’d hide it from Mom.

I decided to sacrifice my maths late classes for my dreams. It’s not like there was anything I learned there—I end up being the teacher to those geeks obsessed with maths.

Tap! Tap! Tap! That’s the sound of our tall, glittering heels tapping the ground as we walked in a line following Mr. Adam’s instructions.

Yes! I finally did it. I joined this year’s competition—finally starting my dreams, or so I thought.

It was harder than I thought it would be. I had to miss a few more of my extra classes in order to perfect my walk. “You walk like a stolen goat! And you’re so fat!” Mr. Adam said in front of everyone. So embarrassing.

I felt like he had some kind of vendetta against me, criticizing everything I did.

I had to stay away from calories, which meant I had to say no to Mom’s tofu and delicious chicken. Although that raised a lot of questions, I managed to get through them. I mean, for my dream, there was nothing I wouldn’t do.

Worse, at the back of my mind, I had this voice telling me it was too late to give up. I couldn’t let Sarah believe she was better than me.

“Darling, you might think I have guns and blades gunning for you, but I actually see a lot of potential in you. I don’t see you winning small high school competitions—I see you dragging an expensive gown from House of Chanel or Vuitton in my fancy gala events, honey,” Mr. Adam whispered to me with a wink as he stepped away.

I couldn’t believe he said that to me. My dreams were really coming true! To think I felt embarrassed while he was just trying to help.

I decided that day I should talk to him and find out when he was going to get me into those fancy gala dinners so I could start making it for my dream and family.

I am supposedly supposed to “bring wealth” for my family. Become a doctor, nurse, or a whole lot more that, in their opinion, are the most paying careers.

I won’t lie—as I thought of this five-room house with paint peeling off the walls and the leaking roof, I too wanted to build my family a better home in the suburbs. “Ko Sandton, chommie!” my friend Thandi would say as we daydreamed of a better life.

In that moment, as I thought of the gala dinners, I saw myself bringing smiles to my family while I too smiled.

As the day went on doing the choreography, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face—until Sarah had to ruin my mood.

“I think I know what made you smile after your ‘little’ talk with Mr. Addy. Girl, if I were you, I wouldn’t start what I won’t be able to maintain.”

To this day, I wish I had listened to her. Things would’ve been different.