It all started in my own yard, from the very beginning when I came into this horrific universe. Apparently, it was a miracle and misfortune that I came out breathing and survived in the rough patches. Legend has it that it was an unusual cold moment for a summer night and there I was giving my mother a difficult time to be in this haunted universe. As I was saying, legend says that the cry, as short as it was, felt like it was wrecking the creation above the sky. It is said that it took several hours before my mother and I got separated and there I was, my eyes already fixed like a teenager feeling himself, as if someone owed me an explanation, as if I wondered why I was brought into this universe.

There are many stories which I get told about the occasion. At times I can tell they are all made up, but there is none that gets to me as the one that my aunt has lived to tell me over and over again. Apparently, I never cried from the moment I came out of this world, and as hard as it is to take in, it happened at least to my aunt, which is contradicting to what the legend has about me. Such accounts make me mad, they are confusing and have left me wondering if was I different. What is it about me that there would be such crazy accounts? Why couldn’t I just be a normal human being like others? I don’t have the answers nor do I want to know, but the stories about me have my blood rushing.

All four of my siblings loved me. However, when I stood outside the gate, all hell broke loose, as the world started to close in on my walls. I wasn’t the lovely baby my family admired. I lived pretty much in a loving family. As a family, we all had our differences but our differences and difficulties got us into one hold.

Having no father figure in my life, did not affect us because the women we grew up with were simply our super heroes, they would do anything for us. That I do not doubt even for a second, which gets me thinking if had I just lived for such people and for myself, how wonderful my life would have been.

One can see how much I loved all the women who guided and took care of me, even though there were times when I was difficult to raise. As disciplined as I was, there were times where I went off the road. Nonetheless, I had a great time growing up in that environment, with no issues at all. We were one. These are the people I was supposed to live for but I chose to look on the other side. In my language we say, “sasiyimbumbo enye qha ngelishwa nangeThamsanqa ndiye ndalahla imbo ngophoyiyana”. To translate it would simply mean, to turn on the true self.

Tell us: Do you believe it is important to stay true to yourself?