I wake up in a daze. My body feels dense, as if I’m trying to climb out of a very dark pit. I don’t recognise the room that I’m in. It’s quiet and there’s a little yellow ray of sunlight seeping in through a gap in the curtains. I climb out of my bed and make my way to the door. I wince and look down to see my arm enclosed in a cast.

The door leads to a small, old-looking kitchen. This looks like another safe house. At the table, Blessing is resting his head on his hands, snoring softly. I pour myself a glass of water, and at the sound of the water he wakes up.

“Hi,” he says guardedly. I remain standing by the sink and study his face. He looks exhausted.

“Hi,” I reply. “You look tired.”

“I am tired,” he tells me. “How are you?”

I walk over to him and sit down, facing him. I shrug.

“I don’t know how I feel,” I admit. “A lot has happened, and it feels like a spy movie. Incidentally, where is Mark?”

I’m calm, so calm that I almost scare myself. I guess I’m still in shock at seeing Mark alive.

Blessing tenses and fidgets with his thumbs.

“He’s at the hospital, he was also shot,” Blessing whispers, looking ashen. I keep still.

Blessing keeps talking: “It turns out that my partner didn’t come alone. He came with his gang of friends. Ruben was also shot. They are both in ICU under heavy security. Ruben came with few SAI men as well. They were the one who saved us. One crook guy is dead, and John is in a maximum security prison.”

I’ve never heard Blessing sound so defeated, almost broken. There is not a spark of life in him. John’s betrayal has evidently hit him hard. We hadn’t anticipated it.

“I’m sorry about John,” I murmur.

I see his face harden instantly. “I don’t want to talk about it, please,” he says sternly. I know when to drop the subject.

“If Ruben was your only contact, how did John get the information you were sending Ruben?” I ask.

“Ruben’s right hand man is also rotten. He and John were working together. We don’t know how many cops are dirty yet, but I will get to the bottom of it,” Blessing tells me with a determined look on his face.

“Isn’t that dangerous?” I ask, concerned.

“Dangerous is what I do best,” says Blessing, “but what’s really fatal is not knowing how deep this goes.”

“Is that why we’re still in hiding?” I ask.

He nods. I look at him, trying to phrase my next question, the big elephant in the room. I know Blessing is waiting for me to ask, and I also know he’s dreading answering it.

I’m not sure if I’m ready for this conversation. I don’t know what this means for us now. How did my life get so complicated?

“And Mark…” I say, finally. “How is he still alive?”

Blessing draws in a long breath, confirming my suspicion. “Ruben has all the information about that,” he tells me. “When John and I got to the accident scene that day, we found Mark in a really bad space. They had beaten him up pretty badly. The last time I saw him he was being wheeled into the theatre. Even then, the doctors told us we shouldn’t hope for much.”

I’m trying to hold myself together while Blessing speaks. My mouth is wide open and I’m struggling to breathe. I blink rapidly to stop my tears from spilling out.

Blessing rises from the chair. I think he can’t bear my reaction, but he continues talking anyway. “After the surgery, he was hanging on by a thread. He needed specialised treatment from neurosurgeons. His protection was assigned to John, and I was assigned to you.”

He keeps his back to me as he speaks, and I can tell that there’s something he’s not telling me.

“Did you know that he was alive?” I ask, but with the clenching of his body I know his answer. “Blessing, look at me!” I say with a quiet authority in my voice.

He turns and faces me. His eyes are bleak but shine with tears too. “Yes,” he finally admits.

“The whole time you were with me?” I ask, unable to hold back my tears any longer.

“John told the agency that they had taken him in and acquired the necessary treatment for him after they faked his death,” Blessing explains.

“Even his family doesn’t know?” I say, choking up. His poor mother, I cannot imagine what she is going through as I speak.

“No one knew except a handful of people,” Blessing says. “John told me about it after the doctors thought there was a chance he might survive. They are calling him a medical miracle.”

I gasp for air. My mind is struggling to comprehend this information. Blessing is so infuriating at times. He waits for me to ask him another question instead of telling me everything all at once. “I asked you before if…” I start to say.

“I couldn’t tell you, for both your sakes. It was highly classified information,” he says, his voice monotone.

“Screw classification, Blessing!” I hiss. His eyes widen at my obvious annoyance. “You watched me go through hell, day in and day out, thinking that Mark was dead, and you said nothing! Are you that callous?”

“He had to stay dead to stay alive, Alex! Don’t you see? If any word about him being alive ever leaked to LG, they would have killed him!” He’s almost shouting. What? He has the gall to be mad at me?

“If John knew…then why didn’t he tell LG or kill Mark himself?” I ask.

“He only found out the day he told me about it…” Mark says slowly, as something is clicking in his mind. “Now that I think about it, the only reason he told me was because he thought I already knew. John didn’t know where Mark was being treated and so…”

“…He was fishing for information,” I say, finishing his sentence.

Blessing nods. “My guess is that John didn’t disclose this discovery to LG because he would have seemed useless to them if he couldn’t find Mark’s location.”

“So he let them continue thinking that he was dead…” I murmur. I see Blessing’s point and the reason for the secrecy, but I’m still mad. “So you think I would have blabbed to the world?” I ask him.

“Of course not, Alex. But you had just come out of a coma. You were recovering, and then we’ve been on the run for all this time. I had to take all of that into consideration. If I had told you the truth, you would have been out that door searching for him. We both know how stubborn you are. Hell, you practically had me wrapped around your little finger before you knew my real name.” He says the last part like it’s a compliment. He’s probably right, I think to myself.

Blessing keeps talking: “Mark was supposed to die so that you would drop the protest. That’s why they beat him up so badly. I couldn’t risk telling you, Alex. I’m sorry.”

The rational part of me understands and is not angry at Blessing, but the irrational me is angry and she does not understand at all. All the grieving for Mark, the sleepless nights, the tons of tears I’ve cried were all redundant.

“And Mark, what does he have to say about the matter?” I ask.

“For a while after he regained consciousness he didn’t remember anything, but after a while he started asking questions about you,” Blessing says. “There was nothing he could do, however. He didn’t know where you were, and he was heavily guarded.”

Blessing looks resigned. Seeing him like this shatters the fight in me. He is allowing me to bully him because… well, because…

I come up empty. Why is he taking this from me? He’s a really good guy. It makes sense now why he kept talking about Mark in the present tense, and why his eye-balls almost fell out of their sockets on the day I wanted to go to Mark’s grave. He was really shocked. Recalling that day tickles my insides, and before I know it I burst out into a full-scale cathartic laugh in front of him. Tears run down my face.

My life is a joke. I am a joke. I can’t believe it.

***

Tell us what you think: Should Alex be angry at Blessing?