“Can’t talk now,” I breathe. Blessing only slightly releases his grip on my arm. “Well, you still haven’t done anything yet that proves…”

His mouth claims mine, silencing me instantly. He kisses me hard, pressing his body against mine so that I can’t move, while his good hand holds the nape of my neck, forcing me to look up to him. Our kiss is filled with anger and stubbornness and something else I cannot name. My hands spread tightly across his back. The faint sound from Blessing tells me that he likes my touch. I feel him hardening against my stomach and, feeling very bold, I push myself to meet him. He grunts and I smile. He tugs my bottom lip with his teeth and begins trailing kisses from my cheek down to my neck. I lift my head to give him access. His hands skim my back and move to cup my breasts.

I pant and I’m surprised by the knowledge my body seems to possess. It knows how to respond to Blessing’s touch. His hands glide under my shirt, as his lips return to mine. I follow suit and slide mine to touch his flesh. He feels warm and strong. He wriggles in my hands.

“Alex.” He stops kissing me, but rests his forehead on mine.

“Blessing,” I mirror him. We are both breathing heavily.

“What the hell is it with you?” I move my hands inside his shirt.

He smiles. “If you don’t retrieve your hands from there I may not be able to stop myself.” He kisses me again, but with less intensity this time.

“I don’t want to stop,” I say softly, and remove my hands. Without Blessing and I having to say it, some part of us knows that we should stop. Hand-in-hand, we move to sit on the couch.

“Neither do I,” he says when we’re seated. “But this is not the time. Our circumstances are not conducive. If I am to keep you safe I must keep a clear head, and you are still not over Mark.”

“I know, and I’m sorry for pushing you like that,” I say. Sometimes I feel this gap, you know. An empty opening inside me, and I think that if I don’t do something to try and fill it I will die right then.” I tell Blessing my deepest anxieties. “In that moment, I just want to feel something, anything really, but I don’t want to compromise you or your job.”

He looks at me with understanding. “I know what you mean. I told you that feeling nothing was worse.” He wipes a lone tear that escapes from my eye with his thumb. I begin to understand what he means now – maybe he is right.

“You have a gap too?” I ask.

He nods. “For a long time I thought I was fine alone, that I didn’t need anyone in my life, but now I’m not so sure.” He gives me a lopsided smile.

“I suppose then that we’re helping each other out in some crooked way,” I joke.

“I have a plan to find out who is the mole, let me go set it into motion.” He kisses my forehead and heads to the bedroom.

“Blessing,” I say, halting him. As I do, his words from a while ago pop into my mind. “That’s how I became Blessing.” I walk towards him. “What is your real name?” I ask. I register the surprise on his familiar features.

“Lifa Gift Malope.” He says each name with pride. “Why do you ask?”

I shrug. “I just wondered.” He accepts my explanation, and with that he turns.

“Oh, I actually wanted to ask something else.” I stop him at the bedroom door. “Helping each other is great and all, but that’s not all there is to it, right?”

“No, it has gotten past that,” he admits. “You’re an incredible woman. I can see why Mark fell in love with you.”

If that’s not a declaration of love, then I don’t know what is. His admission knocks the wind out of me. Is he really in love with me? Did I push him too hard? I don’t know how to feel about this or about him. My feelings are all mashed together. I can’t tell this from that.

While Blessing puts his plan into motion, I decide to busy myself with cleaning the house. It’s also a way to distract myself. These past weeks have been the craziest and most dangerous time of my life.

Being on the run may sound fun and exciting, but there are always two sides to a coin. Not that being on the run has ever been my goal, but I doubt I would do it again. Nothing is consistent or calm. You’re always looking over your shoulder, and that is exhausting on its own. I don’t know who I am anymore, or how to find myself.

Blessing thought that it would be best for me to cut my hair, so that people won’t recognise me easily. Now my hair barely reaches my neck. It is always unkempt because I have to wear a cap.

Complicated doesn’t even begin to describe my life. I’m grief-stricken, I’m on the run, I’m exhausted and I’m lost. These things are all alien to me. I miss Mark so much. There are many questions lingering when it comes to him, so many confusing emotions. I know that if I let myself go there now I will completely fall apart, and I won’t be useful to Blessing.

Blessing.

Yes, there’s now Blessing too. He is brave, very shrewd and capable, and I can’t deny that I’m attracted to him. He tries to hide his emotional side, probably because of his job. He can’t afford to get attached to his subjects. I’m the exception, of course, but I suspect it’s because I’m the good guy. I also think he’s never spent such an extensive amount of time with his other subjects.

Mark was the only serious, long-term relationship I’ve ever had. Sure, in high school I fooled around, but I was never really keen on boys. My mom got worried there for a minute, if you know what I mean.

No?

Okay, well, she thought I was gay. She doesn’t have a problem with gay people, but she’s always nagged me about many grandchildren because I am the only child. Wait! How did I get to thinking about children? Mark would have been a great father to our soccer team kids. I smile at the thought but dismiss it quickly before I start crying.

When Blessing finally surfaces from the bedroom, the rest of the house is sparkling clean. “Wow,” he praises. “The place looks nice”

“You’ve been gone that long. Plan set in motion?” I ask.

“Yes. Tomorrow night we’re meeting Ruben to give him the evidence we found, and just to be safe I told John too. I have sent him an encrypted email. Should anything happen to us, the information will come out regardless,” he explains.

“Why don’t you email your boss as well?” I’m confused.

“Too many people have access to his email account. They can decrypt the email within seconds. If anybody working with Luxurious Group gets to know about this they’d get rid of it immediately, and would possibly kill Ruben.”

“But they could still kill him before he receives the evidence,” I retort.

“No, they won’t kill him before tomorrow because they want to know how much we know. They want to get the drive on their hands.

“What if Ruben is the leak? We could be walking into a trap tomorrow.”

“I thought of that. See, tomorrow we’re going to give Ruben a fake drive but he doesn’t know that. I told him that should LG kills us before we can reach him, I’ve arranged for other outlets for the information to become public.”

I am still confused. “But how is that going to help us identify the leak?”

“The purpose of the meeting is to draw out the leak. I used open channels to set up the meeting. Therefore, I expect only Ruben to show up, but if he’s the leak then he will get the wrong information. Once he figures out that we know he’s the leak, he will retaliate against us, thus confirming our suspicions. John will publicise the evidence anyway.”

***

Tell us what you think: Will Blessing’s plan work, or are he and Alex walking into a trap?