When I woke up, my girlfriend was not on her side of the bed. I threw some clothes on, but they were her clothes. It was a pair of sweatpants and a black round neck shirt. When I was done, I went looking for her in the bathroom. I found the tub filled with water and bath salts, and there was a letter on the side. “Get in! Don’t come to my kitchen without bathing. XOXO,” the letter read.

After reading the letter, I took off my clothes and prepared to get in the bath. My whole body was sore, and I had a bruise under my left breast and my left arm was swollen. I got into the tub, and the hot water felt good. I submerged myself under the water, and when I came back up, I scrubbed each and every part of my body. When I was done, I put some lotion on, which made me smell very feminine. I then wore the same clothes again, but I also found a boxer put next to the bath, so I slipped into it.

When I was fully dressed, I went to the kitchen, and found my girlfriend setting at the table. She was singing, and that was a good sign. She was happy, so I got relieved.

“Well, come eat! Don’t just stand there,” she said, smiling at me. I walked towards her and gave her a soft kiss before sitting down. She served breakfast, and I ate. She was a good cook. “How are you?” she asked, sipping juice.

“I’m fine. You?” I responded, looking at her.

“I mean … how are your bruises?” she asked, lowering her gaze.

“I’m … I’ll be fine,” I responded, stuttering.

“I’m sorry, baby,” she said, crying.

I always felt bad whenever she cried. So, to stop her, I stood up, went over to her, knelt down, and made her face me. “Look at me. It’s not your fault. It’s mine, I shouldn’t make you feel insecure. I’ll never hurt you again,” I said, then I kissed her hand.

She nodded in response, and there were tears still on her face. “I love you,” she said, sobbing.

I kissed her lips, ever so passionately, and the weekend that followed consisted of laughter, love, and consistent vigorous love making. We were very happy, and we did not fight that weekend. We were fine, and I wished it would stay like this forever.

***

Tell us: How do you think people in abusive relationships end up blaming themselves for the violence they face?