December school holidays had come around and we went to Zone 8 to make a statement and to our surprise, they were expecting us. They had recruited old gangsters and they were faster than us and carrying knives and stones. When we got there, they acted as if they were running from us, inviting us to go deeper into their territory. Then, out of the blue, these guys came towards us. I managed to slip off and run but some of the other guys got caught.

I was so frightened, I ran straight home and watched TV.

It was around six o’clock, and it was unusual for me to be home so early. My mom asked me what was going on but I said nothing and continued watching TV. A knock sounded on the door and as soon as that knock came, I felt like hiding. My gut was telling me that it was maybe the police looking for us or one of my friends’ parents coming to tell my parents about what had happened. I was right.

My mom went to see who was knocking and it was Themba’s mom with him. He was bloody; his left eye and upper lip were swollen and he was limping.

“Utheni boy?” (What happened boy?) My mom asked but Themba didn’t answer. Themba’s mom didn’t know either, that’s the reason they were at my house. She hadn’t seen him the whole day and it was me that came to look for him at his house and now she was back for answers. I was so scared when Themba’s mom asked me that I couldn’t tell her that we were gangsters and we were fighting with other boys. But I was so guilty that the words started pouring out of my mouth. I told her the whole story and that got me into so much trouble. Themba’s mom didn’t understand why I was alright with no scratches and Themba was sore. So after the story, aunt Jaffa left the house angry at both me and my mom.

I got a hiding that night and I was grounded for the rest of the school holidays.

The guys still continued with the gang fight and I was now out of the gang. The school holidays were done and I was hearing rumours that Themba claimed that I was a snitch. It didn’t bother me because I knew Themba wasn’t that type of a friend. I waited for someone who had something to say to come to me but no one did. Instead, the fellaz had a new tendency of not greeting me. I was not bothered by that either because it meant they were making me see them for who they were.

Time went by and I met a girl. I was 12 and enthusiastic and I wanted to explore the world. I met this girl from Zone 11 and we started dating. I got further and further away from the guys and they didn’t like it. I would hear rumours that they said I was too fly and a small boy, but it didn’t bother me at all. I guess I was growing up because I felt I didn’t owe them anything. Weekend in and weekend out, I would hear rumours that one of my previous friends had been stabbed or jumped.

Time went by and mom got a house from the government so we moved to Nyanga. I still visit Langa every time I get the chance and I don’t expect anything to change. But I expect nothing from them. I feel I shouldn’t give them the power to control me. I don’t owe anyone anything.

***

Tell us: Do you know of anyone who has had the courage to walk away from a gang?