Just thinking about him with another woman drove me crazy. I had made this guy my everything. He was my joy, my peace, and without him, my life turned upside down and everything fell apart. I felt so alone, it was as if I had nothing to live for anymore. Days, weeks and months passed, but I still couldn’t move on. My heart was still twerking for him, even if his wasn’t twerking for me. Daylight fled and darkness took over my life. Pain and sorrow was the song that I sang every day.

Just because we had broken up, didn’t mean that we had stopped being friends. He tried to remain part of my life, even when I pushed him away, and he only did that because he wanted to show off with his new girlfriend, since he knew that I still cared about him. When his girlfriend wasn’t around, he would tell me how much he loved me, but when she was around they would both rub the love they shared in my face. So you can imagine how I felt at that time; watching the man I loved with another woman. It sucked big time.

I tried to move on, but I couldn’t because I truly loved this guy and what he was doing was shattering my heart into a thousand pieces. It’s not like he cared about my feelings or anything like that. I changed and became a very rude and bitter person. I didn’t want a niggah telling me about his feelings for me because it reminded me of what Billy and I used to share. All I wanted to do was to hang out with my friends and try to forget about him.

One of my friends, Luh, was very supportive. She understood what I was going through without me having to explain myself. Most of my friends would say: “We understand that you loved him and he broke your heart, now get over it and stop behaving like a walking demon.” They didn’t understand the kind of pain that I was going through. Only Luh was there for me every step of the way. She encouraged me to meet new people and try to forget about what was, and concentrate on what is and what will be.

A few months later, I met this wonderful guy, Max. He was different from all the other guys that I had met and we became friends, even though he wanted us to be more than that. He understood that someone had broken my heart and that I was still trying to heal. He knew me better than I knew myself and he cared about me.

He was there for me and his presence would light me up, but there I was: busy grieving for someone who didn’t care about me. Someone who did everything he could to try and make me jealous. I became blind to what was standing before me. I was too blind to see what a wonderful person Max was. He loved me and he didn’t expect me to love him back. He loved me for both of us, because at that time, I didn’t care about myself.

This guy was just amazing and instead of giving him a chance, I friend-zoned him. As if that wasn’t enough, I also family-zoned him, but after having a long and serious conversation with Luh, she made me realise what I was doing to this wonderful soul. I realised how much I cared about him. It was as if my mind had suddenly been awakened from the land of the heartless.

Even though he wasn’t the original owner of my heart, his love had set my heart free from the depths of Hell. Because of him, my heart now sings a new song. He makes my heart skip once too often. He is my strength when I am weak and most of all, he owns a piece of my heart. Without him, my heart is empty. He simply completes me. Just like a black rose, he is rare and beautiful like no other rose. Thorn-less and blossoming all the seasons through. My friends tell me that I have changed. I am happier, I smile a lot and I seem like a new person. If it wasn’t for him and Luh, I wouldn’t be where I am right now. I would still be stuck in a cage with a serial player.

All I had was my damaged heart, but Max gave me his heart and took my damaged one, so that I could survive and learn how to love again. I crazily love my munchie.

***

Do you believe everyone has a love out there?