Mom and dad never had the best relationship. Whoever said that ‘opposites attract’ has clearly never experienced a day in our household. Mom is an admired heart surgeon; dad is an unsuccessful entrepreneur-turned-casino-addict. I thought that being kicked out would have taught him a lesson by now – I was mistaken yet again.

As I get home, I see mom waiting impatiently in her car. Mom sticks her head out of the window and commands, “Get in!”

On the way to the Hillbrow Correctional Facility, mom breaks the silence in the car: “Cav, I’m sorry that dad put you in the middle of his mess. I know it’s been a stressful week for you.”

I reply softly, “Don’t be sorry mom. The one who should apologise is dad. He has made our lives miserable. I wish I wasn’t so much like him!”

At the red robot, mom stops the car and looks at me with hard eyes. “You’re nothing like John,” mom explains with a crescendo voice, “Don’t make dad the excuse that you can’t achieve success in life, please Cav! You’re made for so much more!”

At the sound of those words, my self-doubt attacks me as I scream out: “I’m a failure just like dad! I’m not smart or good-looking, I’ll never have a girlfriend and I’ll never be a goody-two-shoes like you!” My body is shaking with frustration and tears start running down my face. The memories of what had just happened in Hillbrow floods my emotions as I faced towards my window. I take out Samu and my earphones to put on a song to drown out the mess. Mom places her warm hand in mine and without a word she continues driving on.

It takes sixteen minutes to get to Hillbrow. In those minutes, my frustration builds up as I realise that I over-reacted to the person who never ceases to show me love. When we arrive at the correctional facility, I see a KFC and I jump out of the car and enter the fast-food franchise. Locating a secure corner table I sit down, take out Samu and compress my worries within my 6-inches. Come on Candy Crush, now is the time I need you the most. While I try my hardest to release my pain into the many combos I make, my mind keeps telling me to find refuge in mom. But I could never handle conflict. And never will.

I enter the ‘App store’ and I type in ‘How to be confident’ in the search bar. Various apps pop up, advertising clever tips and dress styles to make one more confident. I click ‘download app’. I search for ‘Becoming rich apps’. Tens of apps pop up, advertising that I am the lucky winner of a million rand, while others profess that I will become richer than Jacob Zuma if I simply click ‘enter’. I search for apps that help you to become successful.

In the midst of the loading screen, a red serving plate carrying a Twister, chips and soda appears in front of me. I look up and I see mom taking a seat next to me. “Eat up, you must be hungry?” mom asks as she stares at me with her warm eyes.

The Chicken Twister, being my favourite KFC meal, makes me salivate and I hungrily devour the food. “Thanks mom! I’m sorry for saying those things to you in the car. I took out my anger on you and you don’t deserve that,” I say with a small closed-lip smile.

“Nonsense! I’m proud that you’re my son whether you fail or not. I made a mistake marrying your father, but I’m glad I did because he gave me you,” mom lovingly responds and gives me a hug.

I close my eyes as I am embraced in her warm hug and promise myself not to lose hope. I whisper into mom’s ear, “I love you mom and I want to thank you for loving me, even when I fail you.” And with that, I take mom’s arm in mine and we walk to the correctional site together.

The cold starkness of the concrete building with spiked walls puts goose bumps on my arms. We walk up to the reception office where a dreary, unfriendly police officer hands us bail forms to fill out. As mom fills out dad’s details I look at her and admire her strength. Dad is not her responsibility since being divorced. She could have left dad to rot in jail. She should have. But her heart is so beautiful that she never fails to show compassion. It is no wonder that she saves people for a living – physically and emotionally. Mom hands in the forms together with the R3 000 bail costs.

We sit on cold plastic chairs as we wait twenty-six minutes. A scruffy, dirty-looking convict appears in the distance, handcuffed and in an orange jumpsuit. As he comes closer, I realise that this blood-stained man is my dad.

“Helen! You saved my ass! We need to speak,” dad shouts out to mom as the police officer releases his shackles. He did not even thank mom for her help! A tingling butterfly feeling twists in my gut as my eyes start to water again. I did not want to turn out like dad. He disgusts me. My genes may link me to dad, but I am going to make it my goal to become nothing like him.

We stay until dad is released, not out of sympathy, but to make sure that our bail money is not embezzled. Mom takes one look at dad with an expression of disappointment as she shakes her head side to side. “I don’t want to hear it! This is the last time we will ever help you John, now leave us alone,” mom yells out in her stern tone that makes me shiver. Without another word we exit the building. While walking to the car, I take mom by the shoulder and look into her eyes with a realness that I never felt before. I love her so much!

“Mom, I don’t want to land up in jail like dad. He’s a pathetic alcoholic druggie! I want to be successful. I want to get my Matric certificate and I want your help. This is embarrassing to admit, but I downloaded apps to make me a successful person, but I want to know your secret?” I earnestly ask mom.

“The truth is that the secret has always been on your phone,” mom replies as she wipes away my tears.

“What do you mean? Is it a secret app that I need to download?” I ask with a puzzled tone.

Mom grins and explains, “My secret is that I fully embrace the pleasure of my loved ones. I smile. I laugh. And I forgive. Your secret to success is on Samu.” Mom takes Samu, holds down the side button and displays the screen to me. “The secret Cav, is this. The Off-button!”

Those words resonate in my mind over and over again as I enter the car. All this time and it was right in front of me. I lift my head towards the setting sun and take a breath of fresh air. I look at mom and know that everything is going to be okay. With an enlightened spirit, I take the 6-inches and with a quick grin and an instant touch, I press the Off-button.

***

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