I stand before my mountain,
but why do I even call it mine?
It couldn’t be mine.
I didn’t want it.
I didn’t call it.
I had just moved one before…
And, I thought behind it was the sun,
the rainbow, beautiful flowers, a flowing river, a waterfall,
anything else.
But not another mountain.
Excited about my victory,
the sight of this thing stole my joy.
A minute ago I was a different being,
Now everything I know hurts.
I weep bitterly at the sight.
My heart breaks a thousand times.
With each tear drop something in me dies.
I should have the strength to do this again.
But I just don’t.
I call on all my reserves.
I call on Christ,
but this just makes me weep even more.
I feel betrayed.
I feel forgotten.
How can I do this on my own.
I stand frozen,
unable to move.
Only can I watch in despair as my heart is crushed to small pieces.
Ah, despair – they said that despair is sin.
Despair – they said is a sickness unto death.
I feel sick.
My salvation is death –
Yet, I live.
Yet I live.