There was a time when I did not know better,
When I did not believe in you.
A time when I believed more in luck than miracle
To me, Heaven and Hell were movies
Created by creative play writers.

I considered a bible just a book of rules and regulations,
With terms and conditions. Written by dictators
who called themselves Pastors.

For me churches were classy stokvels
Where all grown-ups come together with a
Purpose of gossiping while pretending to care
About each other.

Okweshumi, a strange word for pyramid scheme.
Whose name is on the deposit slip?
Who carries the card and pin number?
Which day does GOD make the withdrawals?

Until my day became night
Darkness swallowed me whole
My nails chipped from scratching
My hands bleeding from crawling
My skeleton visible to the naked eye

No lotion for itching helped
No amount of food could nourish my body
Plasters and bandages could not stop the blood
From oozing out of my hands

Laughter became foreign
Friends turned to strangers and enemies
Blood became thinner than water

No heat could warm my flesh
No rest could refresh my flesh
No bath could cleanse my conscience

My home turned into a jail cell
Guilty verdict weighing down on my soul
The smell of death insulted my existence
Loneliness kept me company
And I knew I was dead
My soul was gone

I remembered my mom
Saying “take Jesus to be your Saviour”
And I never looked back

I am a child of God
I am in peace
I’m blessed