Once, my life
felt so perfect
with you by my side.
It was a fairy tale.
By the time I woke up,
it was already too late.

Now what I feel
are these mixed emotions.
I’m feeling faded,
like someone got me shaded.
I live in the real world, yes,
but no one knows what I feel.

My heart would beat slow,
but obviously it wouldn’t show.
I would smile,
pretend I’m OK.
I would laugh
to make myself feel better.
It would usually work just for that moment,
until reality flashed back.

Whether I smile, I laugh,
I cry, I hate all at the same time,
I still can’t control
my mixed emotions.