How many times,
Have I lain awake at night,
With that one person in mind?
Wondering if my feelings for her are wrong or right.
Because I’ve tried to get
The thought of her out of my mind,
But still,
My heart won’t give up it still fights,
It beats up my lungs and rattles my ribs,
Every single time she’s in my sights.

Whenever she looks in my eyes,
It’s nothing short of a sweet paradise.
My heart feels obsolete,
It refuses to beat,
Because it would rather pump the tears that she cries.

Every time I feel like I can’t live without her,
A part of me interferes and tells me to doubt her.
It reminds me that love has hurt me before,
And in loving her, I’d just be asking for more.
But my heart couldn’t care less about the past
Because a future with her is something it wants to explore.
So please could someone tell me
That despite my flaws
I’m the one that she adores.
Because I won’t lie, when she walked through that door
And she looked in my eyes I just looked to the floor.
In that moment I knew in my heart’s deepest core
That she was the one I loved galore.
And although my love for her is endless
My mind will not stand for it,
It’s something it wants me to ignore.
This is a daily struggle I have to endure.
My heart and mind, constantly at war.

At times I resist and beat my heart till it turns black & blue,
But loving her is all it ever wants to do.
It says, “I know I’ve been wrong many times
But this time I am certain she’s the one for you.”
And even after everything my heart’s been through,
It still believes that love could be true
So it tells me, “George, don’t be foolish,
Take love with both hands because it only comes to a few.”
But that’s around the same time my mind chooses to interject.
It tries its best to shield and protect
Me from nights it wishes it could forget.
Nights very different from this one,
Where all I could feel was pain and regret.

Unlike my heart, my mind cannot heal,
‘Cause mental agony is a suffering it can’t conceal.
It still has flashbacks of moments from my past
That I believed were always going to last.
It wears the scars from the time when sweet I love you’s
Turned into “I can’t do this do any more”
A deep-rooted hate exists towards love
Because of the many forevers that walked out the door.
No hope lives here, for no one comprehends
The difference between chemistry and compatibility.

My mind fears not the pain of love’s betrayal
But fears its everlasting imprint
Which taunts you long after love has left.
So it pleads with me saying,
“Don’t give in to your heart’s weakness,
Forget love and bite into lust’s sweetness.
Love is nothing but an illusion created by man’s confusion
Of forfeiting one’s happiness and seeking for it in others.
So listen to me when I say that you and she can never be lovers.
Just two people who satisfy each other’s urges
And nothing more beyond that.”

All of this sounds so tempting but my heart will not stand for it,
It’s something it wants me to ignore.
This is the daily struggle I have to endure.
My heart and mind, constantly at war.