I’ve tried. Time and time again, I’ve tried
To not cut, to not be weak, to not fall into temptations
You single handily abolished whatever pieces of my heart was left
You see the struggles I’ve been through
You still leave me, like I’m nothing
I’m sorry for being weak. I’m sorry for existing
I’m sorry for loving you. I’m sorry for you having to love me
I’m sorry about the struggles I put you through
But what I’m most sorry for; is wasting your time
I’m sorry I apologize too much
I’m sorry that I can’t live up to your expectations
I’m sorry I broke down
I tried to hold out, to be strong
I physically and mentally can’t
I’m sorry I can’t be the ideal perfect girl everybody makes me out to seem
I’m sorry you can see scars
But that’s the only thing beautiful about me
I’ve lost total control
Don’t know where or how to start
Don’t know if I want to start; maybe I should just give up
I cry too much
Too many tears in only a short time
I’m sorry I couldn’t put my fake smile on
I’m sorry I can’t find it anymore
However, what I’m sorry for the most, I’m sorry for affecting you.
Everyone; I’m sorry for getting in your hearts and in your heads
And once again, I’m sorry for apologizing so much.
Some will say that suicide or cutting is selfish;
Selfish for the loved ones
Isn’t it selfish for the loved ones to continue to let the person continuing through life in so much pain?
I’m not committing suicide, but I just might
Too many thoughts, too many unseen cuts; the human eye
That’s why I’m breaking down, giving in, and giving up.