I woke up one morning,
I wasn’t feeling myself but it didn’t bother me,
Life continued as normal,
Though I could feel the sudden bad smells,
The nausea in me,
The weird cravings,
I knew there was something inside me,
The thought popped up every lonely night or early morning,
You and your dad stopped talking a while ago,
It bothered me how he would feel about you.

I woke up one morning,
I went through my menstrual cycle calendar,
I realised I had missed my periods,
I was happy but frightened,
I told my mom but not your dad,
She didn’t take me seriously,
So I took my first pregnancy test,
I knew way before I took it that you were in me,
I could feel your presence,
It came out positive,
The joy in my eyes was deep,
Still your dad never knew about it,
I got home and texted him hoping he would accept you,
But he actually pushed me away, left me with the responsibilities,
My hatred for him grew deeper,
I was scared, I told my best friend I wanted you terminated,
I started reading about abortion,
I could see you growing stronger day by day and it broke me,
I went to the nearest hospital,
It felt right then so I just wanted it done,
The gynaecologist came and said I should contact your dad
About the matter, only for him to ignore my calls,
I was told to undress and lie down,
The sweet words of that woman made me comfortable,
But I was warned of the pain I would go through
But I was ready to endure,
My 8 Weeks Foetus of a son drained painfully out of my womb,
At that moment I couldn’t hate your dad more,
The most traumatising moment of my life,
I was shown that little pink and spongy foetus,
It was just a combination of cells,
And still today that image comes up like it happened yesterday,
My biggest regret of my life,
I wish I could erase it,
Through all you are still my guardian angel.