(It is evening at Muzi’s house. There is a knock on the door. Muzi realises it’s Sihle and goes out and closes the door behind him)
Muzi: You’re way too early.
Sihle: So?
Muzi: I’m just stating the obvious.
Sihle: You’re ungrateful. I am doing this for you, remember?
Muzi: No need to remind me. One thing I don’t understand though.
Sihle: You always complain. I’m getting used to that. What now?
Muzi: You changed your outfit. Why?
Sihle: Isn’t this more presentable? I spent a lot of time picking this.
Muzi: You’re dressed like a preacher’s son. How can you be comfortable in a tuxedo?
Sihle: I’ll take off the jacket and hang it over the shoulders of the chair. That’s what gentlemen do.
Muzi: They won’t buy that.
Sihle: Are you living in the 70’s? A man is admired for those little things. Besides, it’s cold outside. I am about to freeze.
Muzi: Sorry! I had to make sure you weren’t wearing hipsters.
Sihle: What’s wrong with them?
Muzi: The occasion.
Sihle: Remind me! I hope your father won’t bite my head off if I kiss you.
Muzi: You’re doing no such thing.
Sihle: I thought we had to be ‘convincing’.
Muzi: Yes, we do. But that’ll be too much, not only for my parents but for me too.
Sihle: You’ve got cold feet!
Muzi: No, I don’t.
Sihle: Admit it. It’s just the two of us.
Muzi: I don’t like this topic.
Sihle: Yeah, right! Hey, where is the dog?
Muzi: Which dog?
Sihle: The one you scared the living shit out of me about yesterday.
Muzi: (laughing) You bought that? There is no dog. I was just forcing you to wait for me before you showed up.
Sihle: You’re a bore!
Muzi: Now, do you remember what we talked about yesterday? Please be on top of your game.
Sihle: It’s been long since I saw your parents. I wonder how they’ll take this.
Muzi: Come on inside. Don’t forget to breathe evenly.
(They go inside and find Muzi’s parents waiting)
Tumelo: So, you’ve been planning your words out there?
Muzi: No…
Sihle: I was just afraid to meet you without seeing him first (eyeing Muzi seductively). He knows how to calm my nerves! Isn’t he such a gentleman?
Zodwa: No need to be flamboyant!
Sihle: Is there a problem Mrs Luthuli, when I show my affection for your son?
Zodwa: Yes! No! Let’s just sit down and eat.
Sihle: Good idea!
(They sit down)
Sihle: Baby, can you pass me the sauce?
Muzi: Here.
Sihle: Thank you, my hubby!
Tumelo: You’ll get tired soon. Steady yourself!
Sihle: I don’t quite follow, Mr Luthuli.
Tumelo: I am not blind, you two. My wife might have bought it, but not me. Do your parents know about this?
Sihle: Oh, yes! They are so happy that I finally found someone to love, irrespective of gender. They are so supportive. They even picked this outfit I’m wearing. Aren’t they amazing?
Tumelo: You’re going to get tired of this, I remind you.
Sihle: No ways! It’s not as if I’m acting.
Tumelo: You’re aware that Muzi is supposed to be getting married?
Sihle: Yes, to me of course.
Tumelo and Zodwa: What?
Sihle: Don’t stress, your blood pressure will be high.
Tumelo: What are you saying, young man?
Sihle: I am saying that Muzi and I are getting married soon. I know you chose him the bride but it’ll be too late to marry her. Next week we’re going to the court to make it official. We have a licence to get married.
Tumelo: You’re not going to do that! Over my dead body!
Sihle: I know that’s just one of you old people’s idle threats. We’ve even booked a lodge for our honeymoon.
Zodwa: Muzi is going to be married to Rendaan. They love each other.
Sihle: Oh please! Then why am I here instead of her? Doesn’t that mean anything to you?
Zodwa: You don’t know a thing about their relationship.
Sihle: You’re right. If there was something to be known, Muzi would’ve told me long ago. Secrets don’t exist between us.
Zodwa: You’re so proud of yourself.
Sihle: Oh, yes I am. I picked the right guy to spend eternity with. What more could I ask for? I have everything I need with him.
Zodwa: You must be ashamed of yourself! How do you sleep at night knowing that you’re a bad influence on our son?
Muzi: There is no innocence in this game for two.
Zodwa: You’re causing us lot of pain. You’re tearing our family apart.
Sihle: Muzi, am I tearing your family apart?
Muzi: No, baby. You’re the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Mom is just saying that to make you feel bad about yourself.
Zodwa: Are you on his side?
Muzi: There are sides?
Zodwa: Don’t play dumb with me!
Muzi: I love you all. I do. I am picking no side. I speak about what I believe in from the base of my heart.
Zodwa: Anyway, who’d want to witness your marriage?
Muzi: Oh, I almost forgot. I am inviting you two to be the witnesses (handing an invitation letter). Sihle’s parents will be there too.
Tumelo: Are you serious about this?
Muzi: Yes! I love him. And he loves me too!
Tumelo: We’re not going to be there! You better get your head right, because in three months you’ll have a wife. Whatever drugs you’re on, you’d better snap out of it! It’s destroying you, son.
Muzi: I can’t quit this drug. It comes naturally. That’s why it’s called love.
(Silence)
(They finish eating. Tumelo and Zodwa go to their room)
Muzi: And then? What was that all that?
Sihle: I thought I was helping you out.
Muzi: Yeah, but you didn’t have to rub it in their faces.
Sihle: What do you mean?
Muzi: You went above board! They totally bought it. Thanks.
Sihle: No sweat at all, although I feel guilty.
Muzi: Just ignore your conscience. Can I see you off?
Sihle: Sure. Tell your mom that she is the best cook. Her food was so palatable!
Muzi: I will. See you some other time.
Sihle: Hey, I have an idea! Since bookings take too long, how about we go to camping?
Muzi: It’s not such a bad idea. Sure.
Sihle: Good, we’re leaving next week Friday. I’ll fetch you.
***
Tell us: Do you think what they are doing to Musi’s parents is fair?