(It is evening at Muzi’s house. There is a knock on the door. Muzi realises it’s Sihle and goes out and closes the door behind him)

Muzi: You’re way too early.

Sihle: So?

Muzi: I’m just stating the obvious.

Sihle: You’re ungrateful. I am doing this for you, remember?

Muzi: No need to remind me. One thing I don’t understand though.

Sihle: You always complain. I’m getting used to that. What now?

Muzi: You changed your outfit. Why?

Sihle: Isn’t this more presentable? I spent a lot of time picking this.

Muzi: You’re dressed like a preacher’s son. How can you be comfortable in a tuxedo?

Sihle: I’ll take off the jacket and hang it over the shoulders of the chair. That’s what gentlemen do.

Muzi: They won’t buy that.

Sihle: Are you living in the 70’s? A man is admired for those little things. Besides, it’s cold outside. I am about to freeze.

Muzi: Sorry! I had to make sure you weren’t wearing hipsters.

Sihle: What’s wrong with them?

Muzi: The occasion.

Sihle: Remind me! I hope your father won’t bite my head off if I kiss you.

Muzi: You’re doing no such thing.

Sihle: I thought we had to be ‘convincing’.

Muzi: Yes, we do. But that’ll be too much, not only for my parents but for me too.

Sihle: You’ve got cold feet!

Muzi: No, I don’t.

Sihle: Admit it. It’s just the two of us.

Muzi: I don’t like this topic.

Sihle: Yeah, right! Hey, where is the dog?

Muzi: Which dog?

Sihle: The one you scared the living shit out of me about yesterday.

Muzi: (laughing) You bought that? There is no dog. I was just forcing you to wait for me before you showed up.

Sihle: You’re a bore!

Muzi: Now, do you remember what we talked about yesterday? Please be on top of your game.

Sihle: It’s been long since I saw your parents. I wonder how they’ll take this.

Muzi: Come on inside. Don’t forget to breathe evenly.

(They go inside and find Muzi’s parents waiting)

Tumelo: So, you’ve been planning your words out there?

Muzi: No…

Sihle: I was just afraid to meet you without seeing him first (eyeing Muzi seductively). He knows how to calm my nerves! Isn’t he such a gentleman?

Zodwa: No need to be flamboyant!

Sihle: Is there a problem Mrs Luthuli, when I show my affection for your son?

Zodwa: Yes! No! Let’s just sit down and eat.

Sihle: Good idea!

(They sit down)

Sihle: Baby, can you pass me the sauce?

Muzi: Here.

Sihle: Thank you, my hubby!

Tumelo: You’ll get tired soon. Steady yourself!

Sihle: I don’t quite follow, Mr Luthuli.

Tumelo: I am not blind, you two. My wife might have bought it, but not me. Do your parents know about this?

Sihle: Oh, yes! They are so happy that I finally found someone to love, irrespective of gender. They are so supportive. They even picked this outfit I’m wearing. Aren’t they amazing?

Tumelo: You’re going to get tired of this, I remind you.

Sihle: No ways! It’s not as if I’m acting.

Tumelo: You’re aware that Muzi is supposed to be getting married?

Sihle: Yes, to me of course.

Tumelo and Zodwa: What?

Sihle: Don’t stress, your blood pressure will be high.

Tumelo: What are you saying, young man?

Sihle: I am saying that Muzi and I are getting married soon. I know you chose him the bride but it’ll be too late to marry her. Next week we’re going to the court to make it official. We have a licence to get married.

Tumelo: You’re not going to do that! Over my dead body!

Sihle: I know that’s just one of you old people’s idle threats. We’ve even booked a lodge for our honeymoon.

Zodwa: Muzi is going to be married to Rendaan. They love each other.

Sihle: Oh please! Then why am I here instead of her? Doesn’t that mean anything to you?

Zodwa: You don’t know a thing about their relationship.

Sihle: You’re right. If there was something to be known, Muzi would’ve told me long ago. Secrets don’t exist between us.

Zodwa: You’re so proud of yourself.

Sihle: Oh, yes I am. I picked the right guy to spend eternity with. What more could I ask for? I have everything I need with him.

Zodwa: You must be ashamed of yourself! How do you sleep at night knowing that you’re a bad influence on our son?

Muzi: There is no innocence in this game for two.

Zodwa: You’re causing us lot of pain. You’re tearing our family apart.

Sihle: Muzi, am I tearing your family apart?

Muzi: No, baby. You’re the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Mom is just saying that to make you feel bad about yourself.

Zodwa: Are you on his side?

Muzi: There are sides?

Zodwa: Don’t play dumb with me!

Muzi: I love you all. I do. I am picking no side. I speak about what I believe in from the base of my heart.

Zodwa: Anyway, who’d want to witness your marriage?

Muzi: Oh, I almost forgot. I am inviting you two to be the witnesses (handing an invitation letter). Sihle’s parents will be there too.

Tumelo: Are you serious about this?

Muzi: Yes! I love him. And he loves me too!

Tumelo: We’re not going to be there! You better get your head right, because in three months you’ll have a wife. Whatever drugs you’re on, you’d better snap out of it! It’s destroying you, son.

Muzi: I can’t quit this drug. It comes naturally. That’s why it’s called love.

(Silence)

(They finish eating. Tumelo and Zodwa go to their room)

Muzi: And then? What was that all that?

Sihle: I thought I was helping you out.

Muzi: Yeah, but you didn’t have to rub it in their faces.

Sihle: What do you mean?

Muzi: You went above board! They totally bought it. Thanks.

Sihle: No sweat at all, although I feel guilty.

Muzi: Just ignore your conscience. Can I see you off?

Sihle: Sure. Tell your mom that she is the best cook. Her food was so palatable!

Muzi: I will. See you some other time.

Sihle: Hey, I have an idea! Since bookings take too long, how about we go to camping?

Muzi: It’s not such a bad idea. Sure.

Sihle: Good, we’re leaving next week Friday. I’ll fetch you.

***

Tell us: Do you think what they are doing to Musi’s parents is fair?