I know some of you may think I am a bitter, heartbroken individual who feels nothing but excruciating pain in my heart. I am not pessimistic, but I am not delusional. I prefer not to lose touch with reality. I prefer to be hurt by the truth than be made happy with lies.

Honestly, I believe in this modern age there is no love. Love to me it just a dead word. Some will say I am depressed or have never been in love. Trust me, I was once in love and believe me, it was not the love that I predicted it to be. I guess I hastily counted my chicks before they even hatched.

I am not trying to ruin things for those who still believe in love. Even Cupid’s arrow won’t do a thing to me. Wherever William Shakespeare is resting, the guy is turning in his grave for what the ‘Love’ of today has become.

Love of today it about what you have or what you can offer. They claim to love you, your beauty or your charismatic looks. What if my beauty fades with time? Of course it will. We all know that time goes with maturity as do having grey hair, wrinkles and menopause. These all remind you that you’re no longer young and fresh, Osteoporosis is also another sign of old age.

Would you still love me if I became an ugly duckling as I lose that heavenly hour-glass figure? If blemishes and pimples begin to invade my flawless skin that could have gotten me a good deal with Avon? What if I became paralysed and was stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of my miserable human life?

Would you still love me?

Some want you once you become wealthy; they hunt you like you’re a hare. They show you fake love as they are so in love with your money. Once you become bankrupt and your possessions get repossessed, they leave for the highest bidder in town who can provide them with the luxurious life that you now fail to provide for them.

There was never love in them. It was all about money. Then there are those Savage people who claim to love you when their only goal is to deflower you and leave you with a broken heart. If you are reluctant to engage in sexual acts with them, they say you do not love them.

They manipulate you by using that deep stupid love you have for them as their emotional blackmail as you naively think you owe them. If I ever come across that situation, I’d rather die alone than being with somebody who forces me to do things I do not want to do.

I’ve witnessed people who had become slaves of love that is not love. How can say a guy who beats you to a pulp loves you? It is no fun being hospitalised due to broken ribs. A guy who raises a hand to me is regarded as a monster by me. A monster who deserves to be locked away since his a danger to the society.

A monster has no love. All he knows is violence.

Love has failed me. I loved somebody so deeply that I could catch a bullet for him. I knew he would never do the same for me. I felt naive for loving him as he jumped into bed with his skank behind my back.

I eventually found out about the infidelity, lies and deceits.

I am only a human and I think it the best thing I’ve ever done, letting him go. Now he has to lie down on his bed of lies. My love for him wasn’t enough for him. I’ve never been good enough for him. That’s all that went around in my head when love failed me.

It’s OK to cry, just let all go. The tears wash the hurt away. After a cry, you actually feel good. I was raised to not express my emotions because it shows that you are a weakling. I bottle it in as I vow I will never love again and being numb has made me the happiest woman in the whole universe.

I will never waste my tears for a guy who does not deserve me. The pain had changed me and left an empty shell of a human who has no love. I thought love would save me, since all my life I’ve been an outcast.

I’ve lost myself and I honestly do not know who I am anymore. I do not trust anybody but myself. I even fail to see good guys who love me genuinely. What happened to love? What went wrong?


Tell us what you think: Do you believe in love?