I need to start praying more often. I know I haven’t been doing so. Prayer needs to be my daily habit. I could start praying at 6 am and again at 10 pm daily.

I’m a bit confused now, I have no idea what to study. My marks are not good enough for me to go to university. Sadly, my rewriting last year made no difference. Before matric, I knew I wanted to be either a teacher or a businesswoman.

However, I know there are things that would get in the way of achieving this. Firstly, I have generalised anxiety disorder, which means my nerves will get in the way of communicating better with people. The symptoms are a nightmare to deal with. Just imagine shaking hands, trembling, dry lips and heart palpitations. The scary thing about GAD is that the symptoms are similar to depression.

Growing up, I always loved public speaking or doing oral presentations in class. I nailed them but it was so embarrassing. My hands were shaking, everyone saw that I always held cue cards in my hands. Despite that I nailed them because my voice was not vibrating. My interest in TV-presenting grew.

At 23 years of age, I still feel that way but GAD won’t let me.

I completed my matric at the age of 21. I have no idea what it feels like to be surrounded by my peers. Now I’m lagging behind. To add salt to injury, I was born prematurely with congenital hydrocephalus. I was kept in an incubator. Mom couldn’t hold me because I had a weird pimple-like rash all over my body. In simple terms, I had ‘water in the brain’.

I never had any academic or learning difficulty. I excelled in all subjects except mathematics! I tried so hard to practise math daily but it was challenging. Perhaps, the shunt inserted into my brain to drain the excessive fluid was the cause. I got it at three-months-old to treat hydrocephalus, which has no cure.

I experience persistent headaches and dizziness because of it. I’m much better now but I will always have headaches and stomach ulcers because of GAD. I tried going to a psychologist but they added me to this long waiting list. So, I’ve never received any counselling ever in my life. I have low self-esteem; I struggle to accept myself as I am.

People always make fun of my physical appearance, saying my head looks strange. Even at home, they never make me feel better about myself. It just makes me feel unloved and unfairly treated. I feel the unfairness but I never get a chance to express my feelings.

We’re all born unique. So it’s never right to judge God’s creation! I will never surround myself with judgemental people that hold grudges. I’m not like that at all. None of us is perfect. I know I’m not everyone’s favourite child, but I do know for certain that I am God‘s favourite child!

Tell us: What are your thoughts about the way that people treat the narrator?