Lily was a beautiful house that caught the eye of many.
To many she was admired for her beauty – a goddess. To me she was more than admired, she was honored not only for her beauty but also for how she stood in the midst of this world – she stood like a queen. I had never seen a house of her caliber stand the way she stood.
Lily was not just a house, she was my house. We were both lost when we first met. She was afraid to welcome me inside because she thought I wouldn’t be able to handle what was inside. She was afraid to trust again, but I insisted.
Now that I was in, the house was not so clean; it was full of broken memories. But I was looking forward to help her clean it up as soon as she allowed me to.
She was the most loving house you could ever live in. We came to a point where we agreed to help her get rid of the broken memories in her life. She was able to open up to me, and I was the first person she managed to open up to.
I stayed in the house for a month.
One day I heard a voice at the gate calling for her, but I couldn’t see because I was trapped inside – I promised Lily that I wouldn’t leave her, that I wouldn’t go outside. The windows were dark painted; it was like she was hiding something from me. Later that day I asked her about the guy who was calling her name at the gate and she said it was her brother. She said she was afraid that her brother would see me and things would have gone bad. I believed every word, only because it was Lily.
Since that day Lily was acting strange, she thought I wouldn’t notice. One day I pushed her to tell me the truth. She admitted that there was something to tell, but she said she was afraid that she would lose me for good. I couldn’t let her get away with it, I had to push her.
“I have been seeing someone else outside,” she said with a saddened voice.
“Whom?” I asked.
“You know,” her voice lowered.
“I wouldn’t be asking.”
“The guy you heard calling my name was…” she said as tears flooded down her cheeks. “It wasn’t my brother,” she added.
“Who was it then?” I asked.
“It was him.”
“Him who?” I was getting angry because the conversation was moving in circles. She knew what she had to tell me, but she was holding it back.
“OK, OK! His name is James, just stop pushing me, OK!” She replied with a loud shout.
Now I was angry because she was getting angry at me for nothing.
“Let’s pretend it never happened and move on with our lives.” I didn’t want to fight her, after all she was Lily. No one ever fights with Lily, the house. No one ever fights with a queen.
Lily promised that she would never do it again – I believed every word.
I was now in the house for three months. Lily and I were the happiest. As it seemed she kept her word, we never had any problems from her side.
One day I decided to surprise her.
I put up a sign outside, telling the world how much I love her. How much she means to me. And a surprise it was. I had never seen her so furious; she tore the sign apart without any explanation. At that moment I had a privilege to see her outside world once again. And now after this I had to go back inside to the dark painted windows because she said her dad would get mad if he saw the sign. In my mind there was another story, a different story to what I was told and that story was the truth. This time she refused to let out the truth, but I could see it from inside that she was lying.
I decided to let it sleep for a while, only because it was Lily.
No matter how hard she tried to hide the truth, I could see that something wasn’t right. The more she tried to hide it, the more she acted strange. On the other hand, she was or let me say she thought she was cleverer than me – she never hid her secretes inside the house. Or maybe she did and I just didn’t dig deep enough.
Being trapped behind the dark painted windows was starting to terrify me; I had no vision of her outside world.
I remember waking up one morning to find her crying. The door to her outside world was wide open. She said she was sorry for everything. I didn’t know what she was talking about.
“I have to tell you something,” she was looking miserable.
“What happened to you?” I asked with worry.
The house was stained with black paint from the windows and the gate was wide opened.
“I am sorry; I didn’t know that he was going to do this to me. I am sorry that I attached you to my mess,” she let out a loud cry. I felt sorry for her. I wanted to forgive her before she could even explain – after all it was Lily.
“I have been seeing this other guy and he found out about us. He wants you to move out; I refused. I told him that I love you and he beat me up.”
To look her in the eyes was devastating, because her eyes looked as innocent as a butterfly. I didn’t know whether to be happy that she refused to move me out or be angry that she got involved with another guy, again.
“How long have you been seeing this guy? Is he the same guy we had problems with?”
“No it’s not him. I have been seeing this one for about two months now. He promised me what you never promised me.”
“And what is that?”
“The world,” she replied confidently.
“Did he promise you an empty world or a world full of people?” I asked with a loud laugh.
I wanted to help her, and get her out of this mess but she refused. She asked me to move out; she said I was too good for her. I tried to fight her, but Lily didn’t need to fight back – her words did all the fighting. She told me that there were plenty of houses out there.
I didn’t want to fight her anymore; it felt like I was fighting myself. Lily shut all the doors and windows, and that was the end of something. That was the end of us. Since then I never saw Lily.
After all, Lily was just a house.