I am only a 17 years old girl, and so far in life, I am not happy. But I do not blame anyone but my stupid naive choices.
I started dating when I was only 14 years old. It was on September 1, 2018, and I was dating a boy I did not love (now I realise). Two months into the relationship, I moved on to another one. This one lasted three weeks, and on the night I broke up with Mr Three Weeks, I got involved in another relationship. This time, it was with Andile, and it is such a pity that we did not last long. It was the whole rich-guy-poor-girl deal going on, so I left him on January 4, 2019, even though I loved him.
Between January 11 and 13, 2019, I got into another relationship (do not judge me!). It lasted one year and five months, then it was off. Anga was the one I truly, truly loved. I had a genuine connection with him, but I threw all that away for rubbish. I then dated another one for two months, and it was horrible!
After that relationship, I stayed single for a while, and it was the loneliest time ever! Mind you, I have never slept with any of the guys I dated, and I was still a virgin at the time.
Then I met Blessing. Yes, him. You might have heard about him before. We dated for three months and broke up on April 2, 2021. I stayed single for two months after that, and in the beginning of July, I met a curse. His name is Aphelele, and he played me. Yes, just that. We did not even last a week. He was with me because of a bet between his friends, and he won. I slept with him, just like that.
It is almost a month now of me being alone, and I will not lie, it is tough because I have issues. I have daddy issues. I cannot bare not being loved, and I am damaged, hurt, and stupid.
I want to heal, and I want to fix my problems. September 1, 2021, will mark three years of mistakes, regrets, and pain I subjected myself to, but also a bit of love I think I got. I still miss some of my boyfriends like Blessing & Anga, but I just realised that I was not ready to start dating. I do not enjoy dating, but I am still healing from what I drove myself into.
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