Have you ever taken a little time and imagined the mass of human beings floating on earth? Has it ever crossed your mind that each and every one of them has been through something that changed them? Well, it’s crazy when you think about it, but the heart of the matter remains; they all have overcome something in their life that has made them the way they are today. I could possibly say that a life without something that has changed your perspective of how life looks like is impractical and futile. Ultimately, this included me. I too, have a story that has made me look different, feel different and think differently – poetry.

Poetry changed the way I thought about myself, forever. Me constantly writing about how I feel has helped me get real, honest and raw about what I go through and has further empowered me to turn my words into medicine and experiences into wisdom. Sometimes I would feel intense sadness; not realising that profound happiness can be just around the corner. I would forget that the world conspires me to be happy, not unhappy. But through writing, pouring my heart out, allowing myself to cry as I ink down my thoughts, I’ve discovered that it is all a matter of perspective, of stepping back and taking a good look at the world around you. How can I ever be bored, depressed, frustrated, annoyed or jealous in a world of such infinite possibility? Writing poems made me realise I needed to prioritise myself because you cannot get to help others without first taking care of yourself. I began to love myself enough to get to know myself. Knew what my needs were and taking care of them by recognising them.

I’m one person that has experienced just about every type of heartbreak that exists. One of them that took its toll on me was the fatherless daughter syndrome. It has been hard for me to acknowledge this because it’s not the story I wanted to tell myself. I’m a daddy-less daughter and sometimes I would feel worthless and my only escape was isolation and anger. Losing a bond with my father deeply affected many areas in my life, including my emotional health and my main coping mechanism was isolation. I didn’t open up to people. I preferred to remain socially isolated and I did all that to protect myself so I wouldn’t experience rejection like I did with my dad.

At times, life seems to be one never-ending to-do list but we must learn to accept situations we cannot change. Writing to myself made me acknowledge that even though I am a fatherless daughter, I am not unworthy; not unacceptable; not unattractive; and not unwanted. Putting ink down to paper made me realise I needed to move forward and desire growth and the openness to ask for help. With faith, healing showed up for me in a surprising way. It helped me understand that it’s still okay to experience pain and conflicting emotions like anger and neediness. Whether or not my father acknowledges me, I AM still worthy and deserving of being loved.

One writer once said, “If you’re not staying in the present, you are leaving it.” This had me thinking that the only way we can make the most of our lives is to make the most of our moments. “Sometimes the best present is being present”. Consequently, poetry helped me to stay in the present. It changed the way I thought about myself, giving myself the peace I needed and also others I interact with. I am different and I decided to stay different.


Tell us: What do you do to stay calm when dealing with life’s difficult situations?